The Knives In His Sleeves
by Miss Light Bright
Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru's parents died and they were left with nothing. What's worse is that they are forced to separate because no one will adopt them together. At first, things look good: they don't live far from each other, they go to the same school... but then things take a turn for the worst when Kaoru doesn't live up to his new parents' expectations. No slash, just brothers.
1. Chapter 1

"So as I see it, this is your only option if you want to stay in close proximity," the social worker, Lena, said softly, shuffling her papers together without looking at the two of them.

Kaoru ground his fingers into the fake leather of his chair before looking over at his brother who mirrored his expression of complete horror and indignation. Hikaru turned to the woman, leaning forward. "But can't we just live together ourselves? We could get jobs. We could-"

"Enough," she interrupted, looking up with somber eyes. "You are both fifteen, not old enough to live alone, but not young enough to be adopted as a pair. Just _be_ _grateful_ that you would live only a few blocks away. And your caretakers are cousins, so I am sure, the two of you will see a lot of each other as it is." She sighed, and leaned forward as she raked a hand through her long brown hair. "Listen boys, you must consider your options here. It's either this, or be adopted by two completely different families, _or_ live in the group home which, frankly, isn't very nice…"

"Hikaru," Kaoru began, starting to see Lena's point.

Hikaru turned his eyes on Kaoru and it caused Kaoru to falter. They were pained, afraid; it was more he'd seen on Hikaru's face since their parents' accident. "Hikaru, I think we should do it," Kaoru continued. "I don't think we will have much choice otherwise."

Hikaru slumped into his own chair, defeated. "Yeah, okay," he murmured.

Kaoru turned to their social worker with anxiousness buzzing in his veins. "So what now?"

She smiled. "In no time, you will be off to your respective homes. The families have already agreed that you would both go to the same school. So you have that to look forward to, despite it being in a new city. But Ouran is a beautiful place. You could make a lot of friends." Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Kaoru, you will be staying with the Hoshino family on second street and Hikaru, you will be on fifth with the Mazaki family. Does that work for you boys?"

"Doesn't make a difference," Hikaru huffed.

Kaoru looked at the woman apologetically. "It's perfect."

* * *

Kaoru's forehead rattled against the window as the car bumped over a pothole on the highway. It was only a few days from their parents' tragic deaths, and already they were being passed on to their new "families." A heavy sadness was covering Kaoru as they were transported like cargo to Ouran. It had been like that for a while; his moods have been swinging like crazy. But that was to be expected though, wasn't it?

He sighed as they drove further into their new city and then turned to look at his brother who was also glancing out his own window. Sensing Kaoru's eyes on him, Hikaru looked at him and gave him a weak smile. "Things will be okay," Hikaru reassured Kaoru, but he didn't smile anymore.

They eventually pulled onto a side street and drove slower. The well-manicured lawns and cookie cutter houses caused Kaoru to straighten up in his seat a little, surprised that the quality was more than he expected. "First we'll drop off Hikaru," Lena announced as they slowed down by a house near the middle of the street. And they parked at the curb. "Everyone hop out."

Reluctantly, Kaoru unbuckled his seat belt and opened his car door. Hikaru met him by the back and opened the trunk, revealing what little possessions they both had. Slowly, Hikaru began pulling his half out and placing it on the lawn. Kaoru watched, feeling lightheaded.

Suddenly the front door burst open and a couple came down the front steps with wide grins on their faces. They were young. They looked about in their thirties or so. "Hi Lena," the woman called. Lena waved and smiled. Then she turned to look at Hikaru and Kaoru. Discreetly, Kaoru stepped back and leaned back against the car, leaving Hikaru standing ahead of him, holding one of his boxes. "You must be Hikaru," she pointed at Kaoru's brother with a smile.

Hikaru shrugged and looked down. "Yeah."

"Let me take that box," Mr. Mazaki said, taking it from Hikaru.

Lena shifted on her feet before glancing at Kaoru. "Well, we should be going. Kaoru here needs to get home too."

Mrs. Mazaki smiled at him, tucking her black hair behind her ear. "My cousin will love you," she told Kaoru. But how could she know? Kaoru felt more disheartened than before.

Kaoru turned to find his brother watching him worriedly. "See you Hikaru," Kaoru said quickly, offering out his arms for a hug. Hikaru quickly returned the hug, squeezing him tight.

"Make sure to text me," Hikaru murmured before pulling away.

Kaoru nodded, dropping his eyes. He was sure that both of them were feeling the loss. "Don't worry boys," Mrs. Mazaki spoke up. "We will make sure you can both hang out as often as you can. Okay?"

Quickly, Kaoru cracked a smile despite the impending sadness. "Thanks."

* * *

Seeing as Kaoru's new house was in the same neighborhood, the house was of similar quality, so Kaoru felt a little better. Taking his time, Kaoru piled all of his possessions onto the lawn while Lena went into the house to find his new guardians.

Just as Kaoru placed the last box into the yard, Lena came out. "Okay, Kaoru. I would see you settle in, but I really have to go. I have a lot of work at the office."

Kaoru nodded his acknowledgement, not even bothering to look happy.

"The Hoshinos will probably help you bring your stuff inside. See you soon, hun," she said, waving him off.

Kaoru watched the car disappeared down the street, feeling completely lost. After a moment, he turned to the pile of things on the lawn. Well, he supposed he could start bringing this stuff in. He grabbed the top two boxes into his arms and made his way up and into the house.

"Hello?" he called into the foyer.

Mrs. Hoshino appeared immediately from around the corner. "Hello," she said a bit nervously. "My husband isn't home yet, but I'm making dinner. So you can eat in a little bit. But anyway, your room is upstairs, first on the left. You can bring it up there." Then she turned and fled back into the kitchen.

Kaoru tilted his head at where the woman had disappeared. What a peculiar person. He shook the thought aside and made his way up the stairs and went into the first room. It was simple: just a bed and dresser. Kaoru set his boxes down onto the dresser and crossed the room to the window.

Numbly he glanced out at the quiet backyard. Damn. There was no tree by the window, and nowhere to softly land outside. There was no escape.

Kaoru pressed his head against the panes with lifeless eyes.

* * *

**Let me know what you think! And don't forget to check out my other stories such as Fading Fast and Sanity's Edge.**


	2. Chapter 2

Kaoru finally got all of his boxes into his room and he plopped back down onto the bed, face down. He sighed before rolling onto his side and pulled out an old phone from his pocket. It was an old flip phone, black, with tons of scratches down the sides. He opened it slowly, shining artificial light over his face in the dim lighting of his new room.

He stared at the background, a blurry picture of his brother and him, taken by his dad. He closed his eyes. This phone was the last thing he had left from his deceased father.

There was a light knock at the door and Kaoru looked up blearily. "Hi," Mrs. Hoshino greeted, tucking her black hair behind her ears. She was still wearing a floral apron. "The food's ready but we just need to wait till my husband gets home…"

"Thanks, Mrs. Hoshino," Kaoru said, sitting up slowly and flipping shut the phone.

"You can just call me Emi and not, you know… mom, unless you want to? But you don't need to. I mean…" she trailed off. "Is that your phone?" Emi pointed to the phone in Kaoru's hands.

Kaoru looked down and turned the phone in his hand. "Yeah, but it won't get any service soon since our plan is getting canceled. My dad, he gave me this phone just a week before our house collapsed in the storm. I dropped mine out a window, trying to take a picture," he laughed. "And my dad said I could use his until we could get me a new one." He smiled at the phone fondly. "I haven't changed a thing about this phone because everything else was crushed in the house, including my dad." His smile dropped away and the two just looked at each other.

"Emi!" a voice cried up the stairs, jolting them from their moment.

"Oh, that's Ryota, my husband," she said quickly, straightening her apron and fixing her hair. "We better go down for dinner." She turned on her heal and rushed out of the room.

Kaoru rose a little more slowly, dragging himself down the stairs, and into the dining room near the back of the house. When he entered, Emi was already tucking herself daintily into a chair on one side and Ryota was standing on the opposite side of the room watching Kaoru carefully. Ryota was a tall, large, intimidating man whose glare glowered more heavily than Kaoru had ever experienced before; he was immediately uncomfortable.

"You're Kaoru," Ryota said shortly, not even in a question.

Kaoru gulped, approaching one of the two open chairs. "Yeah," he forced out, looking the man in the eyes.

They both sat down simultaneously but no one reached for any of the food. Instead, Ryota pressed his hands together and studied his new adopted son. "We have to set some ground rules."

"Ryo," Emi said weakly.

He frowned at her harshly before turning to Kaoru. "You will help with the chores we assign you. You will get A's in school. You will not act out. Got it?"

Kaoru nodded as he wrung his hands together in his lap. "Got it," he said just as weakly as Emi.

"Good," he said finally, reaching forward to scoop a mystery food onto his plate. "Because we are expecting a lot especially since Emi here is barren."

"Ryota!" Emi cried out, turning completely red.

Kaoru could feel himself heating up as will. "I will try not to let you down."

Ryota's glare flashed up at him again. "You won't _try_. You just won't."

Nodding, Kaoru looked away. He quickly scooped a portion of the mystery casserole onto his plate and picked up his fork tentatively. Back home, he was used to the same rotations of foods over and over again but he forced the thought away. That was in the past; three weeks exactly.

He stuck his fork into the mess and pulled it to himself slowly, placing it onto his tongue. He chewed slowly, staring at his plate. The stuff was tasteless and bland.

Glancing up, Kaoru's heart stuttered as he realized that Ryota had been watching Kaoru with an expression of disgust. "Eat like a man," he said shortly before returning to his own meal.

Kaoru was terrified. He was being judged for his eating habits? So he quickly shoveled the rest of the meal into his mouth, swallowing thickly, and finished the water off in a chug. "May I be excused?" he uttered softly.

Ryota snorted but waved him off. "Help Emi bring some of this stuff back to the kitchen."

Emi quickly dabbed her mouth with a napkin before grabbing up her plate and gesturing for Kaoru to follow her. "Come on."

Kaoru stood and followed her quickly through the door and into the kitchen. She immediately took Kaoru's plate from him and set it into the sink. She turned to him. "I'm so sorry about that," she began. "He comes off a bit strong and he gets a bit angry after work and…" She shook her head sadly and then pulled Kaoru into a bony hug. The woman was so tiny against him. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. Then she stepped back, wiping at her eyes. "Umm… maybe you should go up to your room. You should get some rest and allow Ryo to cool down."

He nodded. "Thanks." He fled out of the kitchen and up the stairs and jerked his phone from his pocket. Kaoru was determined to tell Hikaru everything that was going on.

He hit the call button just as he entered his room, kicking the door shut, and he flopped onto his bed as it rang. "Thank God Kaoru," Hikaru answered immediately. "I really needed to talk to you."

Kaoru smiled and closed his eyes. "How are things over there?"

"Horrible," Hikaru replied. "These people are totally babying me. They made me, like, a three course meal for dinner. And my room! Kaoru, you have to see my room. They gave me an Xbox and put it in my room! How messed up is that? We didn't even have anything close to that expensive in our room." Hikaru laughed. "And get this. They painted the room blue. Apparently Shika can't have a baby, so she's been saving up for adoption, but I guess they really wanted to skip the toddler and baby ages. They said they had been waiting a long time for this."

The blood drained from Kaoru's face but he pushed onward. "I think infertility runs in their family then because Emi is just the same."

"So how is it over there?" Hikaru pressed. "How is your room?"

Kaoru looked at his four white blank walls and his empty dresser with boxes piled on top. "Oh, just about the same as yours."

"Kaoru! They have a dog here! You have to come over and see this thing! It's a pug or something. I know you would love it. Remember when we had that dog as kids and you couldn't figure out what to name it?"

Chuckling, Kaoru said, "And then I wanted a cat? Yeah, I remember."

"But anyway, Rika said I could have Honey and Mori up to visit sometime soon and we could all hang out and play games on my new Xbox."

"Great," Kaoru said, his smile slowly disappearing.

"Great," Hikaru repeated back. "Anyway, I have to charge my phone. I'll talk to you later, okay Kao?"

Disappointment shrouded Kaoru's face. "Okay Hikaru. Goodnight."

"Talk to you to tomorrow."

They both hung up and Kaoru carefully placed his phone down onto his dresser. Maybe he would go to bed early. He didn't feel like doing much of anything else that night.

Suddenly there was a loud bang from downstairs, startling Kaoru. A loud booming shout erupted through the house in only a tone that could be Ryota. A high pitch voice hollered back followed by another thud.

Kaoru's breathing sped as he listened to the noises booming through the house. But what scared him the most was the sudden pounding steps ascending the steps just outside Kaoru's door. Kaoru shot off his bed and grabbed at the lock; he silently thanked whoever had put a lock into his door.

Once it was locked, Kaoru jumped away and backed up slowly. He flinched harshly as a body hit the door. The knob rattled violently.

"KAORU!"

* * *

**And so it begins... **


	3. Chapter 3

The door shuddered, booming against its hinges. Kaoru bounded away from the entrance and crawled onto his bed and into the far corner. It was the furthest he could get away without jumping out the window. Kaoru breathed heavily and shakily wrapped his arms around his knees, watching the door as it bang, **bang, BANGED! **

"I know you're in there, boy," Ryota roared gruffly.

Kaoru's heart stuttered and he squeezed his eyes shut. What could he do? Surely, the door would break any second and Kaoru had never been more terrified in his life.

"Ryota, goddammit!" Emi screamed outside the door.

The banging stopped but Kaoru was more afraid than ever. He opened his eyes and stared at the door. "Stop scaring him," Emi whimpered softly.

Ryota snorted but said, "I'm going to bed. Out of my way."

"You can't keep doing this anymore. We have a son now."

"Out my way!" There was a hard smack of skin hitting skin and then a thud. After that, Ryota's footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

Kaoru sat perfectly still, not daring to move, not even to breathe. What if he came back?

A soft knock rapped across the door, making Kaoru flinch at the noise. Still he did not move. "Kaoru?" a tentative voice called.

Letting out a shaky sigh, Kaoru unfurled himself and slid off the edge of the bed. He took his time crossing the room. At the door, Kaoru slipped the knob so it was unlocked and opened the door just a crack. "Yeah?" he said breathlessly.

Outside, Emi was standing with watery eyes and her lips pressed together. Kaoru felt his heart drop, looking at her reddening cheek. "Are you okay?" she asked Kaoru quietly as her eyes darted down the hallway and back again.

Kaoru opened the door fully. "I'm fine," he said. "Are you?"

She lightly graced her fingers across her sore cheek and looked away. "It's not as bad as it seems…" Emi looked back at him. "I promise that he won't be like this all of the time," she explained in a rush. "He just needs to take his medication and he will be fine again. I promise."

He nodded slowly. "I understand." He didn't.

They stood for a moment, just looking at each other curiously, until they both opened their mouths at once. Kaoru shook his head. "You go first."

She wrung her fingers together nervously. "I just wanted to say that I very happy to have you here and I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe." Her eyes hardened. "I'll make sure Ryota stays in line."

Kaoru smiled sadly. "Actually, I was going to say that you don't have to protect me if it gets you hurt. I can take of myself."

They looked at each other awkwardly. "Well then," Emi said, "I'll let you get to bed. First day of school tomorrow and all."

"Yeah…" Then Emi turned away and Kaoru closed his door. He took a deep breath to slow his beating heart.

* * *

Kaoru pulled a shirt over his head and rechecked himself in the mirror. Good enough, he supposed. He quirked a small smile and tried to feel optimistic about the day, but somehow it wasn't cutting it. But he wore that smile as he descended the stairs and into the kitchen where Emi was setting out cereal and milk for Kaoru. Kaoru glanced around the room cautiously.

"He's already at work," Emi said, pouring herself a bowl of Chex Mix.

Kaoru placed his hands on the counter and eyed the backpack sitting on the stool by the counter island. "And that's for you," Emi said, stirring her spoon into the cereal. "You just need to give the slip from the front pocket to the office girl. She will direct you what to do next after that. And don't be worried, I have you all enrolled. You just need to pick out your classes with the counselor before school begins today." She crunched into a bite. "Oh!" she said with her mouth full. "The bus comes in ten minutes, so don't be late going out. It's at the corner."

Kaoru pulled the backpack towards him, feeling the odd heavy weight of it. Emi must have gotten him all of his school supplies already. "I'm going to skip breakfast," Kaoru announced. "I'm going to… get used to getting on the bus. I used to walk to school."

Emi waved him away. "That's fine. There is a key to the house in the middle pocket. You will probably be home before me or Ryota."

Pulling the bag onto his shoulders, Kaoru gave her wave before leaving through the hallway and front door. He closed it behind him, feeling a blast of fresh air against his cheeks.

By chance, Kaoru glanced over to see a girl, about his age, closing her own door. She looked up at him and froze. For a second, they just stared and then Kaoru promptly looked away and walked down the front path. She did the same.

At the road, Kaoru turned right onto the street and began walking towards the corner. Kaoru had the strange sensation that the girl was watching him. Casually as he could, he stole a peek behind him. She was a short, little thing with chopped short brown hair and a wicked glare. Kaoru looked away again.

When he reached the corner, Kaoru slowed, coming to stand by the road sign. She came to stand next to him and they both looked straight ahead. "New kid, huh?"

Kaoru turned to her. She had her dark brown eyes on him curiously. "Yeah…"

She looked away again. "Ouran isn't a big town. It's easy to notice who is new."

"It didn't seem small when we drove in…"

"Welcome to small-town suburbia," she said simply and just a second too late, she cracked a smile at him. "I'm Haruhi."

"Kaoru."

Looking at each other again, Haruhi said, "Look lively, Kaoru. You are going to be the talk of the town."

Kaoru scoffed. "Especially since I have a twin brother."

Haruhi nodded. "Yeah, I can see that today is going to be an interesting day."

* * *

**Sorry guys! I've been busy- this semester is so much more stressful than any other yet. But if you keep up the reviews, I will update more often! Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

The bus was… a bus. Kaoru walked down the aisle and slumped into a seat in the middle, scooting into the seat to the window where he pressed his forehead against the cool pane. The bus lurched forward.

"Emo kid, huh?" Haruhi said, flopping down next to him with a smile.

Kaoru lifted his head in indignation. "I am _not _an emo kid," he hissed with wide eyes.

She laughed. "You so are! Look at you, brooding, with an eternal scowl. I bet you listen to sad music by yourself." And she laughed again as if it were such a big joke.

"My parents _died,_" Kaoru said, completely horrified, "just a few weeks ago. Do you expect me to be fucking sunshine?"

Haruhi paled. "Oh. Oh my God."

"Kaoru!"

Kaoru turned his head instantly at the sound of his brother's voice and felt the relief beginning to fizzle through him. His lips quirked upward. "Hikaru," he breathed out as Hikaru made his way down the aisle. He sat in the seat in front of them.

Hikaru groaned as he threw his bag off his shoulders onto his seat. "You would not believe what they did this morning," he moaned, referring to his adoptive parents.

"What was the horrible thing they did this time?" Kaoru asked.

"They made pancakes this morning. I mean, who does that?"

"You've got it so tough," Kaoru said with the roll of his eyes. He glanced at Haruhi. She was looking to and from each twin, looking dubious. "Uh, Haruhi this is Hikaru, my twin. Hikaru, this is my neighbor, Haruhi."

Hikaru eyed her with a calculating look. "Great job, Kaoru! It's only day one, you dog."

Haruhi ignored him. "You don't live together?" Haruhi asked Kaoru.

"Adopted separate," Hikaru butted in. "By the way, Kaoru. How is it on your end anyway?"

Kaoru shook his head. "We just talked about this yesterday. I'm fine."

"What is an older brother to do but worry?" Hikaru asked Haruhi, smiling wide.

The ride after that was just fine, Kaoru supposed. Hikaru turned his attention on Haruhi and Kaoru couldn't be more grateful. He finally had that chance to stare blankly out the window as the mailboxes swished by.

* * *

Hikaru was worried. When wasn't he? He guessed he just had a soft spot for the kid… Who was he kidding? Kaoru was only a few minutes younger than him and he shouldn't be this worried but something had changed lately. Usually, before Mom and Dad died, Kaoru was the happy one. He was the one with the answers and the ideas. But now, their roles had reversed. Kaoru was now the pessimistic one and it was frightening.

Hikaru laughed at Haruhi's joke, whatever it had been, and sneaked a fleeting glimpse at his brother. Kaoru was zoning out again, being distant. Hikaru worked a smile quickly and snapped in front of Kaoru's face. "Are you alive in there?" It was the wrong question to ask because when Kaoru turned his amber gaze on Hikaru, he looked so tired.

"What?" Kaoru asked, blinking rapidly.

"Hey, what classes do you have?" Hikaru asked, trying to hold Kaoru's attention. It was something hard to come by these days.

Kaoru twisted something in his hands and Hikaru realized it was Dad's old phone. "Uh, I have to talk to the counselor and pick them."

"Really?" Hikaru asked with a frown. "Rika had me fill out the forms last night and I only have to turn a copy into the office."

Kaoru nodded. "Well, I was thinking of taking an engineering class…" he trailed off, looking jerkily away. Dad had been an engineer.

"You should try out for the soccer team," Hikaru launched at his brother, trying to tempt the familiar Kaoru out into the open.

It worked. Kaoru looked up sharply with interest sparkling in his eyes. "Hikaru, it's April. They will hardly take me now."

Haruhi grabbed Kaoru's arm wildly. "No, but you don't understand; our team_ sucks_, like big-time. The coach would do anything to get you on the team if you are good like I suspect you are."

"He is, no worries," Hikaru put in. Kaoru smiled, genuinely.

The bus slowed down and the twins both looked out their windows at the school. It was a hauntingly, dark-bricked building sitting upon a small hill, overlooking the modest parking lot. It was surrounded by luscious green woods on the left side and on the other side was a wide expanse of space with a baseball field. It had a small town feel. "What is this?" Hikaru asked. He was baffled. "How many kids go here?"

"We are a surprisingly small school," Haruhi laughed as she stood. "There are only about 400 students at this school, despite what you may think. Ouran is a bit of a barren suburban city." She swung her bag over her shoulder and walked down the aisle. Kaoru followed quickly and Hikaru followed shortly after, just now noticing how few of people were out on the campus. In fact, there had only been about fifteen people on the bus…"

They descended the stairwell and stepped into the spring air. Neither Kaoru nor Hikaru were wearing jackets (since they were lost in the storm) and he noticed Kaoru was wearing the same clothes from just two days ago. Hikaru wondered if Kaoru's new family had gotten him new clothes yet.

"Haru-hiiiii!" a loud-mouth blonde idiot hollered across the courtyard and immediately bounded across the yard, flanked by a dark-haired and dark-expressioned boy. Hikaru narrowed his eyes.

Haruhi sighed, slapping her hand to her face with eyes closed. "My torment begins early today," she murmured, making the Hitachiin twins force back their laughter.

"Who are these two?" the idiot asked immediately as he placed an arm across her shoulders.

"They're new," Haruhi said flatly. "That's Kaoru and that's Hikaru," she explained, pointed to each as listed.

"And you must be Haruhi's boyfriend," Kaoru said, looking at the pair funny.

"No!" Haruhi screeched, pushing the idiot aside and growing red. "No way in hell! Not Tamaki, never ever."

"But maybe someday," Tamaki said with a beaming smile.

The black-haired kid fixed his glasses. "I would doubt that," he said, laughing.

"Kyoya!" Tamaki whined, turning to his friend in horror. Hikaru laughed. He suspected that this Kyoya kid was trying to get a rise out of Tamaki.

"Don't worry about them, Kaoru," Hikaru heard Haruhi say and he turned to look at the two. Kaoru had that distant look on his face again as he stared around the campus. _Everyone_ was looking like they were fucking aliens. "We don't get many new students," Haruhi explained.

Kaoru nodded and turned back. "This is Tamaki and Kyoya," Haruhi introduced the two respectively.

Disturbed by the look on Kaoru's face again, Hikaru quickly changed the topic, "Do any of you know when the soccer practice is?"

"You play?" Tamaki asked, perking up. "I'm the captain."

"We both do," Hikaru said, gesturing to his brother. "Though Kaoru is way better than me."

"We start at 3:15, right after school, if you want to come. We are always looking for new recruits.

Hikaru laughed. "That desperate, huh?"

"Hikaru, I'm going to the office," Kaoru cut in. Then, just like that, Kaoru stalked off.

"Is he okay?" Tamaki asked.

"Their parents died," Haruhi said quietly.

All three looked at Hikaru with sad eyes. That was all it took for Hikaru to walk away as well.


	5. Chapter 5

Hikaru slammed his tray down next to his brother, giving him a little scare, but surprisingly, Kaoru gave him a smile that seemed somewhat real. He couldn't tell. "I haven't seen you all day," Hikaru said, feeling a bit lonely. He inspected what Kaoru had chosen for lunch. It was the A lunch, same as Hikaru actually.

Kaoru shrugged, biting into his burger. "My counselor suggested that I have separate classes from you. It's so that I make my own friends or something like that."

"That's bullshit."

"That's what I said!" Kaoru exclaimed, waving his burger at Hikaru.

Hikaru smiled. "Did you get that engineering class you wanted?"

Kaoru shrugged and set the burger onto his tray. "Nah, I decided to take the study hall instead… I would never be as good as Dad anyway."

Not a good sign. Kaoru was being negative again and that led to nothing good. "What about soccer?" Hikaru asked.

Kaoru snorted and turned away. "I haven't done that since…"

"I'm serious here Kaoru! Are you really gonna make me drag you to practice?"

For a moment Kaoru just chewed his food, watching Hikaru uncertainly. "Only if you join too."

"Oh come on Kaoru! I would never miss this for the world! Together, good sir, we will make champions out of this school!" He took a hearty bite of his own burger just as a group of three approached their table. "What do you want?" Hikaru grumped through a full mouth.

Thankfully, Kaoru reverted to the reasonable brother. "Hey guys," Kaoru said to Tamaki, Haruhi, and Kyoya as he rolled a fry between his fingers. "You can join us if you want."

"Good. We were going to do that anyway," Tamaki said as he sat down at their table with the others. "And sorry about earlier… we didn't want to offend." He looked pointedly at Hikaru.

Kaoru came to his rescue again. "Whatever it is, I'm sure Hikaru got over it by now. Right Hikaru?" Kaoru looked at him with such serious eyes, Hikaru wanted to laugh.

Instead he smiled and said, "Yeah, sure, what he said."

Haruhi leaned forward. "So are you two going for soccer?"

Hikaru nodded and nudged his brother. "Yeah, both of us."

She smiled. "Well then Kyoya and I will come and watch the practice."

"If I must," Kyoya sighed as he did something on his phone.

* * *

Kaoru walked down the hall after school, feeling absolutely sick to his stomach. The last time he played soccer was a few weeks ago, before Mom and Dad had died. He and Hikaru were practicing with some friends and then slept over at Mori's house. The storm had started soon after.

He imagined what it would have been like if he and Hikaru had gone home instead of the sleepover. They would all be dead right now. What scared Kaoru the most is that sometimes… he wished he had gone.

Sucking in a stuttering breath, Kaoru worked his hands against the straps of his backpack, trying to gain his bearings back. There was nothing to be afraid of. He was good at soccer and he could play it again. He could!

He blinked slowly and walked down the hallway to his locker, quickly dialing his new combination. Slowly, he opened the locker and tried to ignore the staring people around him. Jesus, he was a new student, not a freak show. At their old school, Hikaru and Kaoru had been only known because of the soccer team. Otherwise they had been utterly invisible. Kaoru missed it.

Kaoru shoved his bag into his locker and slammed it shut before heading to the gym locker room. He breathed deeply and pushed the door open.

"Finally!" Tamaki called, turning away from his locker with a pair of white running shorts in hand. Beside him Hikaru was already changing into a similar pair. Tamaki threw the pair at Kaoru which he caught easily. "Those are my extras. You can use them for the day." He threw a spare blue shirt to him too.

Kaoru changed quickly. Was it hot in there?

* * *

Kaoru panted, facing Tamaki on the opposite team, wearing the red jersey where he red yellow. His orange hair was plastered down against his brow, covered in sweat, but he had his focus on Tamaki ahead of him. He kept running, keeping the ball at his feet, and dodged around Tamaki.

In his peripheral, Kaoru spotted Hikaru and he quickly kicked a pass to his brother. Hikaru easily took it and ran ahead towards the goal before passing off to another teammate.

They were ahead in the game but just by three points and only needed this one goal to win the game. The adrenaline was flying through Kaoru's veins as he pulsed forward, easily swerving around Tamaki to hurtle at the goal.

Kaoru ran faster as he saw the ball passed to him. He saw his opening and if he could just angle it right… Kaoru caught the ball against his shoe and he ran. Blood pounded to his ears and he could hear the cheering from the sidelines but he funneled his focus at the goalie and the net around him. He aimed and pounded a fierce kick into the ball, sending it flying.

The ball flew, hard and fast, at the goal. The goalie dove, trying to catch it, but it evaded his fingers by centimeters, plunging against the net.

Cheers burst around Kaoru as he panted in disbelief at the net. They won! Kaoru was pummeled into by his brother who shouted his ear. "That rocked Kaoru!" It was almost lost in the voices around him.

Kaoru laughed, feeling alive, as his team wrapped around him happily. Hikaru took him by the shoulders. A deep happiness was in Hikaru's amber eyes that Kaoru felt himself. "Now they have to let us on the team!"

"They better!" Kaoru hollered back. He was buzzing with energy.

"No one has ever beat Tamaki," someone said.

Someone pushed through. It was Tamaki and he held out his hand to first Hikaru and then Kaoru. Kaoru shook his hand and Tamaki said, "Great game."

"Welcome to the team," the coach said from behind the other students.

Kaoru smiled at Hikaru. Things could get better, he supposed.

* * *

Arriving home at 5, Kaoru pressed the key into the lock but he was surprised to find the door was already unlocked. He pushed inside and kicked off his shoes at the door before running up the stairs. He swung his bag off just inside his bedroom door before collapsing onto his bed, facedown.

He smiled and rolled over, pulling his ratty old phone from his pocket. He opened up a new text to Hikaru.

_It's about time something good happens to us._

Kaoru pushed send, zipping it off to his brother, before laying back and just looking at his phone. He knew that Dad would be proud of him if he was still around. Mom would too but she would've said something like, 'Just make sure you aren't slacking on your homework,' or something like that. He missed that stuff that used to make him roll his eyes.

"Where have you been?" a gruff voice asked.

Kaoru gasped and sat up fast. Ryota stood in the hallway by Kaoru's doorway, fixing him in a low glare. "I-I tried out for soccer," Kaoru stumbled to say.

"Did you?"

Kaoru swung off his bed and approached the man slowly. "I would have called to let you and Emi know if I had the house number or something," Kaoru said, opening his old phone. He hoped the man would just give him the number and leave him alone.

Ryota suddenly yanked the phone out of Kaoru's hands and threw it down the banister to the floor below, just next to the stairs. Kaoru's heart faltered when he heard a hard crack when it landed.

"Ask Emi about it," Ryota said with a glare. Then he trudged off without an explanation.

When he was gone, Kaoru slowly approached the banister in the hallway and peered down at the first floor where his phone had disappeared. Dad's phone was ruined.

* * *

**I know, I know! I suck big time because of my slow updates. At least I am updating this story at least once a week. My other story, Sanity's Edge, isn't even getting that. Stupid work/school/social life combo! It wasn't this bad last semester. Motivate me, sweet reviewers. I got a lot of urgent reviews and messages to keep updating. I suggest you continue to get on my case. It helps, believe me. I will try to increase the updates. I will be finishing my other 2 ongoing stories soon, so once that happens, this story will fly.**


	6. Chapter 6

Kaoru ran down the stairs, taking two at a time and swung around the staircase to where the phone had fallen, broken into pieces. He stumbled to his knees beside the device and picked it up warily. The top part of the flip phone fell off the hinges and landed with a dull thud onto the wood floor. The screen was cracked as well.

Biting his lip, Kaoru just stared it for a second, breathlessly, and blinked slowly. This had been his only piece left of his father. Everything else had been ruined in the storm. He dropped the second piece of the phone onto the ground and clenched his fist.

The door opened and closed behind him but he didn't look up.

"Hello, Kaoru," Emi greeted, walking past him to hang up her coat on the coat rack to his left. She paused just after she took of her shoes. "What happened to your phone?"

Kaoru immediately scooped up the pieces so that they filled his hands. "Nothing," he said, standing up slowly.

Emi put a hand on her hip and tilted her head. Her dark hair swished in front of her eyes as she observed him. "What happened?" she asked, stepping forward. She was wearing a summery sun dress, it was yellow with orange flowers, and she held a thick brown purse. Her black hair was pulled back partially. All of it reminded him too much of his mother.

"Uh, Ryota…" he found himself saying, looking at her sadly. He couldn't get the image of his mother out of his mind.

"Damn him," she muttered, looking away and dropping her bag onto the floor. "Look, Kaoru, I have to tell you something… I think Ryota has a mental illness. I never told this to anyone before now, but he refuses to go to the doctor. It only started recently, so maybe it will go away soon." She moved closer to place a hand on his arm. "He takes medication for anxiety but it's not enough, I know that. Just know that I will do anything to protect you." She blinked as her eyes became teary and she wiped at her eyes with her free hand. "I promise."

Kaoru stared at her with wide eyes. "I believe you."

"Please don't tell anyone," she whispered.

"I won't," he said quickly, trying to get her to stop crying.

"Emi?" a voice called from the top of the stairs. The two of them froze.

Emi wiped her eyes and whispered to Kaoru. "Go up to your room and lock the door. Don't come out until you hear me at the door. Okay?"

Kaoru nodded, terrified, and fled up the stairs. He only slowed to edge past Ryota who stood at the top step. "Kaoru," Ryota said forcefully.

Kaoru froze, just a few feet from his door, and turned slowly. Ryota towered above him, frowning, with his black hair disheveled and a nine 'o' clock shadow. "Give it to me," Ryota commanded, gesturing to the broken phone in Kaoru's hand.

Approaching him slowly, Kaoru placed the pieces into Ryota's huge hands. "What are you going to do with it?" Kaoru asked.

"Kaoru! Go back to your room!" Emi yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

He did as he was told; he turned on his heel and stalked into his room, locking the door behind him.

* * *

For a while, there was muffled yelling. The sounds moved from downstairs to upstairs and downstairs till finally there was utter silence. It was eerie to not hear a sound throughout the whole house but Kaoru did not get up to investigate.

Emi had told him to stay in his room so he did. So he went without dinner. He held his bladder. He didn't bother doing his homework. He didn't even get ready for bed.

Finally, nearing ten PM, Kaoru fell asleep.

* * *

Kaoru was awoken by the light filtering through the blinds, settling on his eyes. His muscles were stiff and he felt restless from the angle he had slept in. Sleeping in his jeans didn't help either.

It was 7:30. There was plenty of time to still get ready for school. So he pushed himself off the bed and stumbled across the room sleepily to the door. He clicked it open and went into the hall. He paused there for a second. The house was still quiet but he could hear the clinking of dishes down in the kitchen. Kaoru glanced down the hall.

There was only two other doors on the top floor. The bathroom faced the staircase while Emi and Ryota's room stood opposite of his. It was a rather small second floor.

Tentatively, Kaoru walked silently in his socks to the room opposite of his and peered into the cracked door. He could see Emi's black hair against the pillow. So he pushed the door open quietly and paced into the room to get a better look. She was sleeping deeply and did not hear him come in. Kaoru stared at her; there was a red mark across her forehead and a small cut just at the hairline and he could see a trace of blood in the hair.

Kaoru turned and left the room, putting the door back into place, before strolling down the staircase. He headed for the kitchen.

Ryota stood by the stove, making something in a pan, standing in his blue boxer briefs. It steamed like mad and it smelt of bacon. "You're still here," Kaoru said flatly, remembering that Ryota usually went to work before Emi.

Ryota looked up at Kaoru and gave him a glare. "Emi got sick and I have to take care of her."

Kaoru scoffed. "What actually happened? What did you do to her?"

"Listen you, she's sick and don't you say another word about it," Ryota shouted, pointing a finger at Kaoru. Then he turned back to flip the bacon.

"I know you did something," Kaoru muttered.

But Ryota heard that. He swung around, taking the pan of bacon with him, and Kaoru only had enough time to cover his face. He gasped out in pain as bacon grease lightly splattered his forearms, burning his skin. He quickly wiped the grease on to his shirt to relieve the searing pain.

"You deserved that," Ryota growled, dropping the pan onto the kitchen counter. He grabbed Kaoru by the neck and slammed him into the wall.

Kaoru groaned at the spinning pain in his skull and his throbbing arms. "Listen. Your _mother_ is sick and don't you tell anyone different. If you do, I will make sure your life is full of pain and misery." Kaoru was released from the wall and he rubbed his neck. "Now go get ready for school and get out of my sight."

It didn't take Kaoru to be asked twice. He bolted away and up the stairs.

He wore a long-sleeved shirt that day. You know, to hide the burns?

* * *

**I had a really crappy day because I think I got a D on the test I took today. At least I hope I got a D... Please cheer me up with reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

Kaoru grabbed his backpack and bolted from his room and down the stairs before bursting out into the spring sunshine of the school day. He was going to be extremely early for the bus stop but Kaoru didn't care. He just needed to get away. Stumbling down the front porch steps, Kaoru fast walked down the front path and down the street. He didn't stop until he reached the end of the road at the intersection where the bus came.

There, he stopped and leaned against the street light, breathing heavy. After a moment, he caught his breath and the pain of his burns started to filter back. Gingerly, he rolled back his sleeves. He gasped as the itchy material scathed his wounds but he was startled into silence at the appearance of the speckled burns. They were angry red and splatted up his forearms. "Shit." No one could see this.

"Hey Kaoru!" Haruhi called nearby.

Kaoru rolled down his sleeves quickly and turned to her with a forced smile. "Hey, you're here early."

"I saw you rush out of the house, so I decided to come out and join you," she said, walking to his side and straightening her shoulder bag. Today she was wearing a loose-fitting tee with dark jeans. Her brown hair was pinned back with a silver bobby pin on one side. "You know that the bus doesn't come for another ten minutes?"

Kaoru laughed shortly. "Guess my clock was wrong."

They were silent for a moment as Haruhi rocked back and forth in her converse shoes. She bit her lip and kept glancing at him. Soon it became unnerving.

"Need something?" Kaoru asked in annoyance.

She stilled and shrugged. "It's a bit warm for long-sleeve," she murmured.

Kaoru glared. She was right though. The sun was beating down at them from the cloudless sky and Kaoru shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah it is."

"Didn't plan ahead?"

"I don't have many shirts to spare at the moment," Kaoru shot back.

They dropped back into silence again but this time they did not recover their conversation. Thankfully the bus arrived not too long after and Kaoru rushed on, determined to sit apart from the girl today. He had enough of her prying. So he sat in a seat in the middle of the bus and she sat in the seat across from him.

Haruhi sat with her feet up on the seat and her back against the window. From time to time, Kaoru would catch her watching him.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru called excitedly as he appeared on the bus. He immediately swung into Kaoru's seat to sit by his brother. "You didn't text me back last night!"

Kaoru smiled. "My phone broke."

"What did you do this time?"

"Dropped it off the banister."

Hikaru laughed. "How does that always happen?"

Kaoru shrugged, hoping to get away from the subject. But then Haruhi spoke up, "I heard a lot of yelling at your house last night."

Hikaru's smile faded just slightly as he looked between his brother and Haruhi. "There was?" he asked.

Quickly, Kaoru nodded. "Yeah, well, Emi got sick last night and Ryota was pretty freaked. You know how people get when they don't know what to do?" Kaoru looked up at Hikaru's identical amber eyes and knew they were thinking the same thing.

_Kaoru flipped open his Dad's phone, thumbing his way to Mom's number. "I'm going to call them," Kaoru told Hikaru, turning away from him and their two friends, Mori and Honey, and went to stand by the window._

_Outside, the storm was just starting. The trees were whipping violently in the wind and the skies were dark. Kaoru's breathing was short as he raised his phone to his ear. It was hard to hear the first ring over the howling wind._

"_You shouldn't be by the window," Hikaru said worriedly, coming to stand by Kaoru._

_Kaoru put his hand over his left ear and turned away just as the phone rang a second time._

_The lawn chairs toppled over in the yard and flipped away to land against the fence. Hikaru grabbed at Kaoru's arm, holding the phone. "Come on Kaoru, we have to take cover." Mori and Honey had already disappeared from the room. "Kaoru!"_

"Kaoru."

He blinked rapidly, realizing belatedly that he had been staring at the floor. "Sorry, what?" Kaoru asked his brother.

Hikaru frowned at him. "I was saying, what's with the long-sleeves?"

"I asked him earlier and he said he has a shortage of clothes." Haruhi said from her seat. "But I'm just wondering if Kaoru's just some emo kid that cuts himself."

Kaoru glared at her. "I wouldn't do that –"

But suddenly Hikaru wrenched back Kaoru's sleeve. Kaoru gasped as the fabric rubbed across his burns until they were exposed to them. "What the hell is that?" Hikaru immediately demanded.

Kaoru yanked his arm out of Hikaru's and tore the sleeve back down. He glared at the both of them, who were staring at him with wide eyes. "Shit, Kaoru," Haruhi said quietly. "I didn't actually mean –"

"Shut up. Grease burns, you idiots," Kaoru snapped. "I was making fucking bacon."

Hikaru paled but didn't say anything.

Luckily, the bus was pulling into the parking lot so Kaoru stood abruptly and wedged himself past Hikaru. "Kaoru," Hikaru called after him.

"Fuck off!" Kaoru said. He stalked off the bus filled with rage. He would never cut himself.

* * *

Hikaru watched Kaoru storm angrily away towards the school. He sighed. It seemed as if a pattern was forming where he daily pissed Kaoru off.

He and Haruhi took their time getting off the bus. They walked together across the school grounds, both in dismal moods. "I think you should check in on him at his house," Haruhi said suddenly.

Hikaru looked at her closely and she genuinely concerned. "Why?"

She shrugged and adjusted her shoulder bag. "He just seems hurt and depressed. I mean, I barely know him but… I am just getting the vibe."

"Kaoru's not depressed," Hikaru said forcefully with a frown but he was getting a sinking feeling.

"I just knew a kid who hurt himself because… never mind. Just make sure you give him a ride home today because by coincidence, I won't be watching soccer practice today. That way, you can see how he's doing at home."

Hikaru watched her; she seemed sincere. "Okay, but I guarantee that he's not depressed."

* * *

**So I was reading old reviews from my other story, Paper Hearts and Paper cranes, and it made me so motivated to write this next chapter. Thanks guys for the reviews on The Knives in His Sleeves. Every review encourages me and I just want to say thank you! Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Now I am going to try to write a chapter for Fading Fast. ALSO REMINDER! I write short chapters so I can update more often. I know the updates aren't as frequent right now, but I promise once I get my paper done, reviews will go SOOOO much faster! Okay, peace.**


	8. Chapter 8

Kaoru stripped off his long-sleeved shirt from soccer practice and changed into a gray shirt and blue sweatshirt. He mussed his sweaty hair, trying to cool down from long practice. All that was on his mind was the fee that the coach had mentioned to Hikaru and him. Eighty bucks! Where was he supposed to come up with that? He guessed that he could ask Emi but…

He shoved his uniform back into his locker and pulled out his backpack. Time to go home and face the music. Turning, Kaoru came face to face with his brother; he was really good at avoiding Hikaru during school and practice but he'd let his guard down.

"Hikaru," Kaoru said curtly, stepping forward, intending to walk right past him.

Hikaru stepped into his path. "Haruhi already left."

Kaoru closed his eyes and stopped in his tracks. "She did, didn't she?" He opened his eyes to glare at Hikaru as he dropped his bag by the bench and sat down. "Okay Hikaru, say whatever you wanted to say. Guide me with your wisdom."

Quirking at the corner of his lips, Hikaru sat down next to him. "How do you know I'm going to lecture you?"

"You always do, so get on with it."

"You're too smart for you own good," Hikaru said with a smile. Kaoru dropped his head into his hands and sighed but Hikaru nudged him good-naturedly. "Come on, Kaoru. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for, well you know."

Kaoru peaked out of his hands before dropping them completely to grab up his bag again. "Just shut up, Hikaru, and let's go." He flung his bag over his shoulders and trudged out of the locker room, not caring or not if Hikaru was following him.

But eventually Hikaru did catch up to Kaoru just as he was descending the steps of the front lawn. Hikaru had his bags with him and had changed into his regular clothes, jeans and a black t-shirt. "You know if you were a bit less prickly Kaoru, I would be less worried about you."

Kaoru rolled his eyes, walking swiftly towards the curb used for parents to pick up their kids. "I was always prickly."

Frowning, Hikaru stopped. "That's the thing, you weren't."

Kaoru stopped and shook his head with a humorless smile. "You cannot be serious? Not another lecture!"

"Kaoru I want to help."

"I'm not depressed Hikaru! Why can't you listen to me?"

"But lately you've been distant, you've been—"

"For God's sake! Mom and Dad just died! I watched their caskets get lowered into the ground and you think I'm depressed? Geez, you would think this type of thing would grant me a month grace period or something until I'm officially depressed." Kaoru was left huffing slowly with his fingers curling and uncurling from fists.

Hikaru was shocked into silence, looking at Kaoru with wide eyes, but he then rubbed the back of neck. "Okay, I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again. Let's just go."

Kaoru nodded and looked away, still feeling the rage brewing in his chest. They walked across the campus, much of it was quiet, and most students had gone home already. Luckily, there was already a car along the curb, waiting.

"Oh there's Rika."

They trailed to the sleek black car and both boys slipped into the back seat. Kaoru knew that Hikaru could have sat in the front seat but with him being so worrisome, Kaoru couldn't get a moment alone. "Oh hello Kaoru!" Rika greeted as Kaoru slumped down in the right side of the car. Rika was looking at him through the rear-view mirror with her dark brown eyes, tucked beneath her black bangs.

Kaoru nodded, speaking only a short, "Hi."

"It's good to see you again. How do you like it at my sister's house? I haven't been able to get ahold of her lately."

"It's good. Everything's good," Kaoru said immediately, trying to be convincing.

* * *

They reached Kaoru's house in no time. The ride had been short and conversation had been minimal. Kaoru couldn't wait to just go lie in his room with the door locked. He needed some quiet.

Rika parked in the driveway. Hikaru unbuckled himself at the same time as Kaoru. "What are you doing?" Kaoru asked, bewildered.

"I was hoping I could catch a glimpse of your new place, Kaoru."

"No, no, you don't have to," Kaoru said quickly, grabbing his heavy backpack as the paranoia and fear began to creep up his veins.

"Oh that would be lovely!" Rika cried, cutting the engine. "I need to see my sister anyway."

Kaoru's panic increased but he couldn't stop them. They were already opening their car doors. Kaoru crawled out of his own door as his heart began to pound in his ears and his hands grew sweaty. He didn't know what they would find inside.

They began walking to the door with Hikaru and Rika ahead of Kaoru. Maybe he should go in and warn Emi? Or would she still be passed out on her bed? It was too late, however, because the two reached the front door and entered as if it were their own home.

"Hello!" Rika called into the still house. "Emi, are you home?"

Kaoru entered the foyer and closed the door warily behind him. He scanned the area. No one was in sight. "Nice place," Hikaru said quietly from Kaoru's side.

"Emi!" Rika called again.

Suddenly Emi came from around the corner at the top of the stairs and went racing down. "Rika!" she cried happily. The two sisters met at the bottom of the stairs in a quick embrace before stepping back. "Kaoru, good, you're home." Emi said with a smile. "I made dinner early today since Ryota will be late from work today."

"Work?" Kaoru said, dropping his bag by the front. "I thought he was—"

"I was a bit ill this morning," Emi interrupted Kaoru. "Ryota was kind enough to stay with me for a bit and patch me up." She gestured to the bandage on her forehead while giving Kaoru a subtle warning expression. "I had a spill against the bathroom sink because I was so woozy."

"Oh, you do look pale," Rika said, looking closely at her sister. "And you're still in your nightgown." The night gown was silky red.

Emi chuckled and straightened it before wrapping her arms around herself. "Yes, well, I wasn't expecting company. And I was definitely not expecting a visit from the famous Hikaru."

"I guess Kaoru's told you about me," Hikaru said with a beaming smile.

"He's told me lots," Emi said. Kaoru hadn't, actually, but he was willing to go along with the lie.

"Don't inflate his ego," Kaoru said with a laugh.

Emi turned back to her sister and sighed. "I would ask for the two of you to stay but I was really planning on eating dinner with Kaoru and then take him shopping for new clothes. We didn't have much time lately."

"Told you," Kaoru murmured to Hikaru. Hikaru elbowed him in the gut.

"But we really should get the boys together, maybe this weekend?"

Rika nodded. "Yeah, I'll call you later tonight about it then."

The two were quickly rushed out the door with quick goodbyes. Kaoru didn't know why she was in such a big hurry but she leaned against the door looking positively worried. "What? What's wrong?" Kaoru asked. She was looking at him with absolute terror.

And just like that, Kaoru was smacked hard across the back of the head, throwing him into the door just to the right of Emi. He hit the door heavily with a cry but he was wrenched upright again by the hair along the nape of his neck. He gasped but was silenced by a hand wrapping tightly across his lips.

"Ryota," Emi said lowly, but this time she did not make a move to help Kaoru.

"Shut up," Ryota growled, somewhere behind Kaoru. Somehow Ryota's grip grew against Kaoru's face. "Now listen, you, and listen good."

* * *

**Updates should be faster hereafter. **


	9. Chapter 9

Kaoru held still, breathing steadily but still terrified. His hands were pressed into the door in front of him and his face was smashed against the wood and turned slightly so that he was staring at Emi. She was staring at him in complete horror. Kaoru didn't blame her as he stared at the bandage on her head.

Ryota's fingers strained at the back of Kaoru's neck and across his mouth but Kaoru only winced, trying to stay calm. "Now listen," Ryota repeated. "I don't need these people coming to check up on you, me, or Emi. We are one big happy family, got that?" Kaoru hesitated but then nodded slowly against the man's hands.

Leaning forward so that he was in Kaoru's line of sight, Ryota continued, "You will go to school, give your classmates no reason to worry, and come straight home."

Kaoru mumbled into Ryota's hand.

He gasped as Ryota grabbed him by the hair and spun him to face him. "What did you say?"

Kaoru stared at him, trying to hide his fear, and said, "I have soccer practice." Ryota's face immediately darkened and Kaoru felt his heart stutter. "Can… Can I still play?"

Ryota's fingers tightened on Kaoru's shoulder before he released him. "Fine. But you must be home right after to do chores. Do you've got that?" But before Kaoru could reply, Ryota stalked away and up the stairs. Kaoru didn't unfreeze from his spot until he heard the slam of Ryota's bedroom door. Kaoru stood in shock for a second more. Did Ryota seriously give Kaoru permission to do something? In the three days he'd been with this family, Kaoru had thought of the man as a cruel person who would never let Kaoru do anything.

Kaoru frowned and glanced at Emi. She was smiling slightly at Kaoru. "He's taking his medication again," she said quietly. "He started this morning after you went to school."

"But that… What does that mean?"

She came forward and wrapped her arms around Kaoru gently. Emi said into his ear, "He really doesn't want to be like this, Kaoru. When he hurt you this morning," she began but she paused to let go of him and look into his eyes. Her eyes were watery as she continued, "He was horrified. He told me all about it. He apologized about hurting me and I know he's sorry about you too but he has a hard time of saying these things. Then he said that he would try for me. He took his anxiety medication this morning. I'm hoping he keeps up with it."

Kaoru shook his head, trying to process. "So you're saying that everything is going to be different from here on out?"

She nodded happily. "I have something for you." Quickly, she half-ran into the living room, disappearing from view. Kaoru stood dumbly, trying to wrap his mind around it all. It was all too sudden, this change in Ryota. And was Emi really going to believe he would change just like that? But then Emi was returning with something in her hands.

Kaoru gasped when he saw what it was. It was his phone, still in pieces, but there it was. Kaoru snatched it from her hands and cradled it in his hands. "Where did you—?"

"Ryota."

Kaoru looked up at that. "You mean—?"

"He dug it out of the trash for you. Like I said he felt terrible and didn't want you being miserable living with us."

Glancing down at his phone briefly, Kaoru said, "Is he going to see a doctor about his mood swings?" When Kaoru looked up at Emi, her smile had faltered.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "He may be bipolar or something, I really don't know. But I'm not going to force it. Also, I'm afraid of what could happen if social services find out."

"You don't want them to take me away?" his voice came out a little more broken than he intended. He swallowed thickly. "You need me?"

"Of course! You don't think I do?" She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You are the only one I have right now. We're in this together, you know?"

Kaoru nodded, understanding. It must have been so terrible for Emi to have to go through all of this abuse without anyone to tell. "I don't have to play soccer," Kaoru said suddenly, looking at Emi. "I could be home more with you."

"You don't want to play soccer?" Emi asked, looking surprised.

"It's not that…"

"Then you are playing soccer! No son of mine is being deprived of sports!" she cried dramatically. She laughed.

This stole a smile out of Kaoru but he worked hard to force it back down as he said, "It's just that there is this fee…"

"No problem," Emi said and suddenly she was walking to the closet in the foyer. Kaoru followed slowly behind, watching as she opened it and pulled her purse off a hook and pulling out her wallet. "How much is it?"

"You don't have to, really," Kaoru said warily.

"But I want to! Now spit it out. How much?"

Kaoru fiddled with his phone pieces in his hand. "Eighty."

Immediately Emi began filling out the check and then she placed it into his hand with his phone. "Now get washed up. We're going eating dinner and then shopping."

"You were serious?" Kaoru asked, shocked again.

"I was serious!" she said as she walked away into the kitchen.

* * *

The shopping had gone smoothly, Kaoru supposed. He really didn't want Emi spending so much on him but she wanted nothing but the best for her _son._ Now Kaoru was staring at the blank walls in his room, feeling numb. That word, son, was eating away at him. The more he thought about his parents, the more it hurt. The more he tried to forget, the more he felt guilty. And this cloud over his head just wouldn't go away.

He should be happy right? He has new clothes for school and he was going to play soccer again. Mom and Dad would be happy for him, wouldn't they? Kaoru turned his head to look at his phone on his dresser. Maybe… Maybe if he could get some of the pictures off his phone, he wouldn't forget what they looked like. He heard that happens to people.

Slowly, he picked up the phone and stared at it. Was there a way to do it with his phone being obliterated?

"Knock, knock," Emi's soft voice said from behind him.

Kaoru dropped his phone in his surprise. Luckily it landed back onto the dresser. "Hey," he said.

"Sorry to barge in but I was just walking by and… Kaoru, are you doing okay?" she asked, leaning against the door.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He turned to face her fully.

She pursed her lips, totally not believing him, but said, "The service for that phone, did it have cloud back up?"

"What?" Kaoru asked, looking over at his phone. Then it dawned on him. "Oh," he said, looking back at her.

She smiled. "The computer is downstairs in the living room. Feel free to use it. As for me," she said, pushing away from the door. "I'm going to brownies. You do like brownies, right?"

"Uh… yeah, actually." He rose slowly, grabbed his phone, and followed her downstairs. She went into the kitchen and he bee-lined for the computer.

It was old but it would do. At least they had one! Just a few minutes ago, he didn't even know they owned one. He immediately logged onto the internet and typed in the URL for his father's webpage. They did not have backup on their phones like Emi mentioned, but her words did remind him that his father had made his own webpage for his and Mom's business. Together they had started their own fashion line. That had been recently and they hadn't gotten too far before they'd died, but they had made a little money. Now all of their remaining finances were going to Hikaru and Kaoru on their eighteenth birthday as a college fund.

Kaoru found the page and clicked through to the About Us page. He stopped and smiled fondly at the screen. It was a picture of all four of them standing in front of the new shop Mom had downtown.

He pressed print, feeling happier than he had in days.


	10. Chapter 10

The light filtering through Kaoru's window woke him up before his alarm and he stared blearily from under his heavy comforter of the picture of his family which he had hung on the blank wall by his dresser. He was content, lying there, waiting for the few minutes he had to tick by. Finally his alarm rang loudly, enough to startle him, and he quickly slammed his hand down to silence it.

He readied leisurely, taking a longer shower than usual. Kaoru was a bit worried. Would Ryota be different today? Would he find Emi with another wound on her forehead? Would he get breakfast when he went downstairs or would he be chased out again?

These thoughts nagged at his mind when he stood at the top of the stairs, looking down in the foyer. The crackle and aroma of bacon lifted up from down below and it _scared him._ Kaoru clamped his hand down on the staircase railing to steady his shaking limbs. Then he descended, trailing his fingers across the smooth wood, rounded the foyer and paced into the kitchen quietly.

Ryota had his back to Kaoru, doing something at the stove. Kaoru looked around but did not spot Emi; he breathed shakily. "Where's Emi?" he asked quietly.

Ryota jumped just slightly before turning to him with a frown, holding a spatula. Kaoru unconsciously scratched his healing burns beneath his long-sleeve shirt. "She went to work early and I don't work today."

Kaoru stared. "You don't?"

Ryota stared back. "No, I only work a series of days on the construction site and then I have a few days off in a row."

"You work construction?"

"Yeah, I guess I didn't tell you what I do." Ryota smiled and it was genuine. Kaoru's eyes widened shock. Ryota gestured to the stool at the edge of the counter. "Take a seat, I'll grab you breakfast."

Kaoru went to it and sat down. He felt numb, shocked, and completely surprised. Ryota seemed to have changed overnight. Kaoru watched Ryota dish up a plate of bacon, eggs, and hash browns and he placed it in front of Kaoru with a glass of orange juice. Slowly, Kaoru began eating his food while Ryota cleaned up, not bothering to eat anything himself. That was another thing that surprised Kaoru.

"What does Emi do?"

"Real estate. She even picked out this house for us when we got married." Ryota smiled fondly.

Kaoru narrowed his eyes at the man, trying to figure him out. Where was the violence? The instability? He looked away and slowly raked his fork through the eggs.

"Not hungry?" Ryota asked suddenly, snapping Kaoru out of his daze.

He shook his head. No, he wasn't hungry anymore. Kaoru was only sick with suspicion. Ryota reached for Kaoru's plate and Kaoru flinched away violently, dropping his fork with a clatter. Ryota froze with his hand on the edge of Kaoru's plate for just a second before dragging the plate away and he turned to scrape the food into the trash. Kaoru felt his face heat and stared down at the counter, letting his hair cover his face.

"Come on. Let me drive you to school," Ryota said, not looking at Kaoru. "Meet me out in the car. And don't forget the check for soccer." Then he left, leaving Kaoru sitting alone at the counter, and closed the front door softly.

Kaoru didn't know why Ryota wanted to drive him to school, but he stood warily and went to the other side of the counter to grab his bag that was lying there. He picked it up and stared. It was made out to his school, eighty dollars, from Ryota's account. Kaoru slipped it into his pocket, grabbed his bag in the foyer, and rushed out the door.

* * *

"Go, go, go!" Coach called as they went through their practice. They were working on the passes and Kaoru ran hard to keep up with his teammates and kicked hard, flinging the ball to Tamaki at the opposite side of the field. Tamaki took the ball in stride and brought it around to the middle, kicking it to another teammate. The pass was fluid.

"Bring it home, Kaoru!" coach called.

Kaoru launched himself forward, his vision tunneling onto the ball as his teammate passed it to him and he tore at it, slamming the ball towards the goal. It hurtled hard, whipping it into net. Kaoru smiled as coach hollered, "Alright that's it! Great job everyone!"

Kaoru jogged over to his brother and Tamaki who were pacing towards the locker room. "That was great, Kaoru!" Hikaru congratulated.

"You seemed extra energetic today," Tamaki said. "What got you in such high spirits?"

Kaoru smiled. "Things are going my way today." And it was. Ryota had taken him to school, they had talked civilly, and Ryota had even promised to pick him up after practice. They pushed into the locker room and Kaoru turned to Hikaru as they approached their lockers. "Do you remember that picture Dad took for their store?"

Hikaru looked up in surprise. "Oh yeah, that's on the-"

"Website, yeah," Kaoru said happily. "I printed it out."

Hikaru looked thoughtful. "Man, I should too. I didn't even know a picture of the four of us even still existed."

Kaoru threw off his shirt and dropped it into his bag before pulling on a new one. When he began changing his shorts, Hikaru spoke again, "Do you need a ride home? Haruhi had yearbook and-"

"Nope, Ryota is picking me up today."

Hikaru smiled in approval and Kaoru had to look away. He suspected that Hikaru was worried about him when there was no reason to be.

When they were dressed, they left the locker room and Tamaki immediately departed, heading towards his junky old car. Hikaru looked up at the clouds. "Looks like it's going to rain."

Kaoru watched the curb, searching for Ryota's blue car. He wasn't there yet. "So are we hanging out this weekend?"

Hikaru looked at him oddly. "What?"

Kaoru looked down. "Oh I thought Rika said… Never mind."

"Oh!" Hikaru exclaimed, slapping a hand over his forehead. "Oh, I totally forgot. Yeah, you definitely need to come over! I'll ask Rika about it again." A black car rolled to the curb. "That's me. I'll let you know about this weekend, Kaoru, and please, get your phone fixed, okay? Sometimes I need to talk to my brother, you know?"

Kaoru watched him leave, stood contently, and leaned against the wall of the school, watching the curb for his adoptive father. But time ticked by. It was ten minutes when Kaoru heard thunder overhead, twenty minutes when it began to rain and thirty when it began to pour.

Sniffing, Kaoru wiped a hand across his soaked face. His orange hair was plastered to his face and he was sure his backpack was soaked through. He just hoped it didn't ruin his papers inside. Kaoru sighed, throwing the backpack over his shoulder and began walking against the harsh winds.

Of course Ryota would forget! Of course! Why did Kaoru even bother? Why, why, WHY?

He trailed down the road in the direction of his house. God, how far was it? A little over a mile or so? Kaoru could make that, definitely, but he was just… really cold. He wrapped his arms around himself and pushed onward.

Suddenly a car rolled slowly past him and stopped. "Kaoru!" Emi's voice called in a panic.

Kaoru turned in surprise, still being pelted by the rain, and stared over at the blue car. The window was down and Emi was hanging out of the passenger window with Ryota in the driver's side. She waved him over. "I'm so sorry, Kaoru!" she cried as he walked over slowly. Once he was reach, she pulled Kaoru into a hug and he was pressed to the cold metal of the car. "This is entirely my fault. I was a little late getting off from work and Ryota had to wait for me and then we rushed over as fast as we could to pick you up but… I'm so sorry."

He allowed himself to be hugged for a second longer before removing his self from the window. "Can I just get in the car?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah of course!" she exclaimed, unlocking the car.

Kaoru slumped down into the back seat and slammed the door shut. He was soppy wet, cold, and definitely in a bad mood. He threw his bag down onto the floor.

"I really am sorry," Emi said sadly as they turned away from the curb.

Kaoru looked up and caught Ryota's glance in the rear-view mirror. "It's okay," Kaoru mumbled as they continued to drive. "It's okay." He didn't want to be on Ryota's bad side…

"We are really sorry," Ryota said suddenly.

Kaoru looked up in surprise but Ryota was no longer looking at him. In fact, he was frowning. Kaoru supposed it took a lot for Ryota to apologize. "And when we get home," Emi said, "I'll make you your favorite food and any desserts you want!"

A small fond smile grew on his face. He guessed, maybe, they hadn't forgotten about him.

* * *

**Oh man I feel terrible for not updating in quite a while. But I did have two huge tests, a creative writing project, and slight writer's block... But guess what! My semester is over officially on May 10th and my summer will begin! I will try to update within the next three days! Okay? Also, the next chapter or so will be a little happier... But only for a little while. BWAHHAHA!**


	11. Chapter 11

It was a few days later, on Sunday, when Kaoru finally was able go over to Hikaru's place. He walked down the road with his school bag over his shoulder and a smile on his face. The last few days were nice; easy even. He was getting used to school, his home life was improving, and he was starting to feel _happier _these days. However he did still feel the twinge of depression often on the edge of his mind.

He strode up the block until he arrived at Hikaru's house and went to the door, breathing deeply, and then rang the doorbell. Kaoru was surprised to hear a manic barking becoming louder and louder to the door until it was just inside, scratching at the door. Backing up a little, Kaoru waited for someone to get the door.

It was Hikaru that opened it and he was holding a small pug back by the collar. "Quick, get in here!" Hikaru cried, grinding his heel into the floor to keep the dog from jumping.

Kaoru rushed past Hikaru and closed the door quickly behind him. Hikaru sighed appreciatively and let go of the dog. It immediately jumped up on Kaoru barking wildly.

"Down Sparky!" Hikaru called in a commanding voice. Sparky didn't listen, so instead, Hikaru picked the puppy up around the middle and set him into the bathroom in the foyer entrance and closed the door. Sparky barked loudly against the closed door.

"I didn't know you had a dog here," Kaoru chuckled with a smile. "And why the hell did you name him Sparky?"

Hikaru grinned back. "It's a good name! We just got him today. The folks said that they wanted me to have something of my own or something like that." He shrugged, unable to wipe the smile from his face, and began to rub the back of his neck. "They are really going overboard, aren't they?"

"It's great, Hikaru," Kaoru said. "I think I might be a bit jealous."

"Hey, you should ask Emi if you could get a dog. I'm sure she would."

Kaoru shrugged. "So what do you want to do?" he asked as he tugged at the straps of his backpack.

"Well, I figured I would show you around. Then we could play some video games; I've got movies… I don't know; anything, really." Hikaru looked over to where Kaoru was tugging on his backpack. "What's in the bag?"

Kaoru's face heated slightly. "Uh… my homework… It's in case I got bored."

Hikaru raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Shut up!"

"So you expected to come to my glorious home and be bored so much that you had to resort to homework?" Hikaru exclaimed. "Who did you think you were hanging out with today? Kyoya?"

"Uh…"

Hikaru was on him an instant, wrenching the backpack from Kaoru's shoulders and throwing it onto a table in the front entrance. "Nope, you aren't being perfectly studious Kaoru today. No, sir! Today you are crazy, fun, and somewhat psychotic Kaoru."

Kaoru laughed as Hikaru began pulling him away from the door by the arm. "What about Sparky? Are you just going to leave the poor guy in the bathroom?"

"Rika!" Hikaru yelled suddenly, giving Kaoru a jolt of surprise.

"Yes, sweetie?" her voice floated from somewhere further into the house.

"Can you let Sparky out of the bathroom in a few minutes? Kaoru and I want to make it to my room without him taking us out!"

"Got it!" Rika called back.

The two ascended the stairs not long later, rising up to the top floor. At the top of stairs was a large living area complete with a comfy tan leather couch and a large flat-screen TV. There was a hallway splitting off of the room that lead to first the master suite and then to Hikaru's room at the end. Hikaru opened the door proudly.

The room was totally decked out! The room was painted a dark red or maroon color and the décor was in shades of gray. The bed was huge; probably a queen size, Kaoru guessed, and it faced a TV of equal size to the one in the living room. There was an entertainment stand settled below with several game consoles and a dresser to the left. The closet was walk-in, too.

Kaoru glanced over at his brother. "You've got to be kidding me."

Hikaru looked embarrassed. "I didn't ask for them to buy it for me! They just kept giving me stuff, I swear."

Kaoru didn't reply and glanced around the room again with a little pang of jealousy in his chest. Once Kaoru had gotten past gaping at everything stupidly, he then noticed the picture propped up on Hikaru's nightstand. It was their family photo; the same one Kaoru had printed off for his own room. It was of better quality and was printed on actual film paper, but it was the same nonetheless. Kaoru smiled.

"I'm glad you reminded me of that," Hikaru said, smiling a little sadder. "It will help me remember, you know?"

Kaoru's smile threatened to waver but he remained strong for the sake of his brother. "Yeah, I know."

Hikaru clapped Kaoru on the shoulder. "Now I'm pretty sure I can beat you at Mario Kart, Kaoru. I've been practicing," he said, changing the subject quickly.

"One, I seriously doubt that," Kaoru challenged. "I am the reigning champion. Two, you've always sucked at Wii games. I'm pretty sure I'll win!"

Hikaru pulled a falsely hurt expression. "I try my best, thank you very much."

Kaoru found himself full out laughing at Hikaru's ridiculous expression and Hikaru smiled at just seeing Kaoru so happy. "I'm glad things are getting better, Kao."

Kaoru knew Hikaru wasn't referring to himself and he found himself agreeing whole-heartedly. "Me too."

* * *

A few hours later, Kaoru arrived home. He knew he would have to start on his homework soon… but he had to talk to Emi and Ryota. Luckily, he found them both in the kitchen, preparing for dinner. "Hey," he said, entering the room. Little by little he was feeling more comfortable around Ryota.

"Hey there," Emi said happily. "How was it over at my dear sister's?"

"Hikaru is definitely spoiled," Kaoru said.

Emi laughed and Ryota smiled. "That's my sister. She smothers anything and anyone she loves."

"Yeah, and that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you guys about…"

Ryota gestured for him to continue. "Speak your mind."

"I was wondering if I could get a job once school lets out? It's only a few weeks away and I could use something to do after the tournaments in June. We have this big break in between the spring soccer season and fall season and I just want to fill it. I really-"

Ryota held up his hand to interrupt. "If you want to get a job, it's your choice. Actually, I think it would be a perfect idea."

"I think I heard the amusement park is hiring for summer jobs," Emi inputted.

Kaoru nodded, considering. "That might be a good one."

"Yes and maybe you could get a few of your friends to join you."

"Yeah," Kaoru said, thinking of his brother and his new friends. "That would be cool..."

* * *

**Ah! Kaoru's getting ideas! And don't worry, guys! My torturing of Kaoru will continue if not in the next chapter, but in the chapter after that. BWAHAHA! Any predictions?**


	12. Chapter 12

**1 week later**

Kaoru walked home. Yes, he walked. He didn't have practice that day, which he'd forgotten until the moment the buses left. Also, he still didn't have a phone to call up Emi, Ryota, or one of his friends. But he was fine with it, really. It was a nice day out and he only had to walk a little over a mile to get home. No big deal.

He smiled to himself. Hikaru had promised to get a job with him this summer at the amusement park and Haruhi and a couple of the others were interested too. Kaoru was looking forward to it and he kinda wanted school to hurry up and end so he could start. But, that also meant it would be closer to the end of soccer. It was a dilemma really.

Kaoru neared his house and he walked a little faster. Emi had promised cookies and his favorite dinner. Ryota, on Sunday, had been holed up in his room for the whole evening. Emi said he was sick, so she was staying home from work all today and would go back on Tuesday. Kaoru hoped Ryota was better so maybe the three of them could watch that movie Ryota had talked about.

He slid his key into the lock and pulled the front door open, throwing his shoes off at the front. "I'm home!" Kaoru called, hurling his bag from his shoulders onto the rug by his shoes.

Silence.

"Hello?" he called a little more timid. His stomach plummeted, immediately feeling something off in the air. "Emi? Ryota?" He went to the stairs immediately and it took all he had not to sprint his way up. He edged up and around the corner to the door across from his own. He leaned forward and knocked lightly. "Ryota?"

No answer.

Kaoru frowned, biting his lip. "Hello?" He turned the knob slowly and pushed it open to look inside. It looked normal. The bed was unmade, the closet stood open, and warm light filtered through the lilac curtains. It was just as it should be. Kaoru closed it again and looked around him in confusion. Where could they be?

He turned and went back down into the foyer, heading for the kitchen. "Guys?" he called, as he entered the kitchen. The lights were off but there was an adequate amount of light streaming in from the window above the sink. Kaoru glanced at the counter and then at the fridge. There was no note left for him. He also checked the phone on the far corner of the counter. It wasn't flashing, meaning no new messages. "Where are they?" he whispered to himself as he went to the window.

He peered out at the small lawn. It was surrounded by a high fence with a little shed in the corner by a single tree. It occurred to Kaoru that he'd never been into the backyard and he still had no interest in doing so. He turned back the kitchen and sighed. Maybe they went out. Surely they would have said something or would have appeared if they were lurking somewhere in the house. Kaoru slumped down onto a stool by the counter and stared at the oven. He guessed Emi hadn't made those cookies after all. He felt a twinge a disappointment.

Suddenly, he heard a small knocking sound. It was faint and muffled. Kaoru glanced around, trying to locate the source. "Hello?" he said again.

The little noise returned and Kaoru zeroed in the kitchen closet. What if… What if there was some animal loose in their house? Kaoru wouldn't know what to do if a rabid animal popped out of there as soon as he opened the door. The thought of it caused Kaoru to hesitate in his seat, just watching the motionless door. The knocking didn't continue.

Finally, Kaoru pushed himself upward and approached the closet. They usually kept canned foods and cleaning supplies inside… Maybe something fell?

So he went forward and opened it in one jerky movement and screamed when something large fell out of the closet with a _THUMP!_ Kaoru stood frozen for a moment, shaking with fear, as he stared at the scene before him. "Emi?" he whispered brokenly. Then it dawned on him. "Emi!"

He fell to his knees by her body and turned her over, putting her head into his lap. She didn't have any wounds, but one eye was ringed in a heavy black and blue that matched her arms. He felt relief when she looked up at him, tilting her chin just slightly. She smiled weakly. "You're okay," she said through a rough voice.

The sound of it had Kaoru pulling down the collar of Emi's shirt and he brushed away her black hair. It revealed bruises along her neck. "Christ," Kaoru whispered in horror. "What happened?"

Her smile disappeared and suddenly she was using Kaoru as a support to push herself into a sitting position. "It's nothing to worry about," Emi said, trying to sound reassuring.

Kaoru glared at her. "Yes it is. Was it Ryota?" She looked up at him with teary eyes. "It was," Kaoru said, completely defeated. "But I thought-"

"He stopped taking it. He stopped taking his medication a few days ago and then yesterday the symptoms were coming back." She began to cry. "I should have known this would happen but I was so blind. We were so happy. This week…" She trailed off, crying softly into her bruised hands.

Kaoru sat back, staring at the floor, trying to process this. What did this mean for them? What was going to happen to him?

Suddenly the two both snapped their gaze at the garage door as they heard a car pull in. "Shit!" Emi cried, stumbling to her feet. "Kaoru, you have to go up to your room. Lock it!"

"No," Kaoru growled as he stood, looking at her with his worst glare. "I'm not sitting around anymore while you get yourself hurt just for me. I'm not worth it!"

"Yes you are," she replied desperately, clutching at the counter top to stay steady. "You're my son now."

Kaoru worked his jaw. "I'm not doing it. You go upstairs and lay down. I'll just pretend I didn't see you, okay? Then maybe… Maybe Ryota won't do anything." They stared at each other for a moment. They heard the car switch off. "Go!"

Emi looked conflicted but then suddenly she lunged forward to the counter and grabbed a small, thin kitchen knife from the wood block. "If you are going to do this, you'll have to protect yourself," she said fiercely, turning back to him. She laid the blade in his palm. "Hide it." And then she turned and stumbled out of the kitchen.

"Dear God," Kaoru whispered to himself as he slid the knife into his long sleeve to disguise it. "What have I gotten into?" Then he turned just as heard footsteps approach the door. He braced his self.

* * *

**Shit's about to get real.**


	13. Chapter 13

Kaoru stepped back against the counter, clutching the knife hard in his hands as he heard the footsteps stop outside the door. He unconsciously turned the blade upwards into his sleeve so that the blade was resting cooly against the inside of his arm. Breathing hard, he waited.

The doorknob jostled until finally it turned and Ryota's towering figure teetered out of the dark garage and into the bright sunlight from the window. Kaoru's breath caught as he observed the dark circles around Ryota's eyes and the way his hands clenched tightly over a bottle with clear liquid inside. Ryota stopped dead, seeing Kaoru, with a calculating look on his face. "Kaoru…" Ryota slurred, taking a step toward him.

Startled, Kaoru pressed far against the counter, gripping the knife harder. "Please," Kaoru said lowly, closing his eyes and turning his face away.

"What's wrong with you today?"

Kaoru opened one eye and peeked at the man warily. Ryota was looking at him oddly before his gaze darted to the open kitchen closet. "Have you seen Emi today?" Ryota said carefully.

"N-no."

Ryota grunted and turned away to slam the half-full bottle down on the kitchen island with a hard clunk. He then began to rummage through the fridge.

Kaoru took a good look at the bottle and his eyes widened when he realized it was a bottle of vodka. "Did you drive with that?" Kaoru said, unable to stop himself.

Ryota turned, holding a jar of jelly. "What was that?"

"Nothing," Kaoru said quickly, averting his eyes.

"No, you said something. Please, share with the class." Ryota's voice was full of malice. It was enough to make Kaoru shiver in fear.

"No, I didn't mean-"

"What did you say, boy?" Ryota growled, shoving the fridge door closed. He advanced on Kaoru with a tight grip on the jar.

Kaoru whipped out the kitchen knife and pointed it threateningly at the man, shaking heavily. "Stay away from me!" Kaoru's voice shook.

Ryota halted, staring. "You would pull a knife on your guardian?"

"Just stay away," Kaoru said, feeling his resolve strengthen. "I won't let you hurt me or Emi ever again. Come near me and I will stab you."

"That little bitch," Ryota growled, rolling his eyes. "She told you?"

"She fell out of the closet," Kaoru snapped, shaking the knife at him.

Ryota grinned slowly and suddenly he was launching the jar at Kaoru before he could react. The jelly jar connected with Kaoru's right temple with a sickening crunch, splattering the grape jelly across the kitchen and down his face mixed with shards of glass. Kaoru cried out, feeling the glass tearing at his skin on his forehead and he stumbled backward, hitting the counter harshly. The impact caused him to stumble and he fell hard and fast with the knife still in his grip. A new pain was sharp and consuming as his knife came down on his left arm, slicing across his forearm.

Kaoru immediately dropped the knife and rolled away from it, falling into sobs. Blood swelled from his forehead and arm. He clutched at his tender flesh on his arm and cried, watching blood running between his fingers and onto the tiled floor. The cut wasn't deep but it was long.

"Look what you did!" Ryota roared, staring down at his weeping form. "You're getting blood everywhere! Get up!"

Kaoru continued to clutch at his arm. He's never been cut in such a sensitive spot; it was a complete shock. "Help me," Kaoru found himself whimpering as he stared at the blooming blood. Could he bleed out from a cut like this?

"For fuck's sake!" Ryota growled. He reached down, pulled Kaoru up by the shoulder, and kicked the knife away from Kaoru to the other side of the kitchen. "Next time don't be so fucking stupid!"

He couldn't reply because suddenly Ryota was dragging Kaoru away from the kitchen and out into the foyer. It was all of Kaoru's effort just to stay upright.

Kaoru stumbled under Ryota's grip as he was led into the living room and towards what looked like a closet. Immediately Kaoru dug his heels into the carpet, trying to stop the drunken man. "Please, please," he whimpered as they approached the door. Ryota yanked Kaoru hard and painfully.

"Fuck!" Ryota cried at one particularly hard kick to the shin from Kaoru. He swung the door open and shoved Kaoru inside unceremoniously and yanked the door shut again. Kaoru was plunged into complete black and he backed away from the door as he heard something being shoved in front of the door. It sounded like the heavy bookshelf.

Kaoru took another step back and almost fell, suddenly teetering on an edge. He cried out, grabbing out the wall, and righted himself when he snatched a hold against a railing. Then he realized; this led to the basement. Clutching onto the railing, Kaoru peered anxiously into the unending darkness behind him. It was eerily quiet besides a small creaking sound.

His arm was still aching as he turned away and he immediately searched the wall for a switch, for a light. There was nothing. Then he turned to the doorknob. He could barely make it out through the thin slice of light coming from the cracks around the door. He jiggled the doorknob and rammed his body against the door, attempting to throw it open. It hit something heavy and solid. Trying again, Kaoru realized that it would not budge.

"Let me out!" Kaoru called out desperately, jiggling the doorknob again. "Please!"

"You're staying in there until you learn your lesson!" Ryota chuckled from the other side. "I'll try to remember to let you out in the morning!"

"Wait! _PLEASE!"_ Kaoru called out, panicking at the thought of being in there all night. "I'll be good!" Kaoru cried through thick tears. Ryota's steps trailed away until they fully disappeared.

Kaoru pressed his forehead against the wooden door, crying softly, and clutched his bloody arm to his chest. It still pulsed with pain and he quickly jerked his head away from the door when he realized his forehead was leaking blood all over the door and across his nose. He turned slowly and slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor.

He sobbed, staring into the dark, hungry and in pain. He hadn't even known they had a basement.


	14. Chapter 14

It was dark and Kaoru was breathing hard as he clutched his throbbing arm tightly to his chest. He was sure that the bleeding had stopped, but it still hurt and was sticky to the touch. Leaning back into the door, Kaoru closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing and the ebbing sense of panic clutching at his heart. Dark, small areas… Kaoru hated it. He forced himself to breathe. He just had to make it through the night. So squeezed his eyes tighter, wishing for sleep to take him.

* * *

Hikaru woke immediately at the sound of his alarm clock and pulled back the covers enthusiastically before slamming his hand down on the beeping clock. Sparky shook his head from his perch on Hikaru's bed and stood warily. Hikaru whistled at the pup, waving him to him. "Come on you lazy dog! Don't you want to get fed?"

Sparky immediately flew to his paws and raced past Hikaru and down the hall. Hikaru chuckled and followed until he arrived in the kitchen where he quickly dumped a good portion of dog food into Sparky's bowl. The dog dug instantly, snorting as he ate.

Hikaru returned to his room quickly and grabbed some clothes from his closet and lumbered into the bathroom that he claimed as his own. His adoptive parents had their own master bathroom hooked into their room. Hikaru whistled to himself as he got ready for a shower but then paused, staring at the picture taped to the corner of his mirror. It was the photo of his family, his real family. Feeling a quick pang of sadness, Hikaru turned away and jumped into the shower. He didn't allow himself to feel sad these days.

* * *

Kaoru wasn't on the bus. That was the first thing that caught Hikaru's attention as he sat nervously on the edge of his bus seat. Then again, Kaoru didn't have his cell phone, so he couldn't just call Hikaru if he was getting a ride to school. "Where's Kaoru?" Hikaru asked Haruhi who had been looking out the window in the seat opposite from his.

She looked up with haunted eyes. "I haven't seen him," she said slowly. But then she leaned in towards him to say lowly, "But I heard a ton of yelling from their house yesterday."

Hikaru frowned at her before scooting into her seat so that they could sit together in a little more privacy. "I was at their house not too long ago and things seemed okay. Kaoru keeps telling me everything is fine over there."

Haruhi nodded slowly. "But… I just feel like more is going on over there than Kaoru is letting on."

Hikaru shook his head. "I don't think so," he said despite the creeping sensation of dread. "I think he's okay."

* * *

Kaoru didn't show to school that morning, not to lunch, not to anything that day. Then, when Kaoru didn't show up in the locker room for practice, Hikaru sat defeated on the bench, staring at his and Kaoru's sports lockers. Hikaru hadn't even bothered to change into his uniform yet.

Tamaki poked Hikaru in the shoulder. "Aren't you going to change?"

Hikaru rose from his seat but made no move to open his locker. "Do you think something is wrong with my brother?" Hikaru asked Tamaki.

Tamaki tilted his head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Haruhi was saying that she heard yelling from Kaoru's house last night."

"I don't think so. Kaoru's been really happy and talkative lately. I think things got better. You shouldn't jump to conclusions so easily," Tamaki replied, pulling his foot up onto the bench to tie the laces.

Just then, the door opened and Haruhi waltzed right into the boys' locker room in the midst of all the guys changing. Tamaki sputtered, turning pure red, even though he was completely dressed. "Haruhi! You can't be in here!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Don't mind me!" she called out loudly to the whole of the locker room. "Please continue!" She turned to Hikaru and gave him a good once over that had Hikaru heating up just like Tamaki. "Kaoru's not here."

"Yeah, I know." They stared at each other.

"Want to go?" she asked.

"Yeah."

Tamaki looked bewildered as Hikaru took a few steps toward her. "Where are you going?" Hikaru wasn't sure who Tamaki was referring to, him or Haruhi.

"We're going to check on Kaoru," Haruhi said flatly.

"I'll come with," Tamaki offered.

"No." Haruhi gave him a glare and strode out of the locker room without another word.

Hikaru gave his friend a sympathetic smile. "Sorry dude." He quickly followed Haruhi out of the room.

The two made their way out into the parking lot to a car waiting at the curb. "I called my Dad to pick me up early today," Haruhi told Hikaru as they walked. "I was going to check on Kaoru with or without you." Her voice was toned with stubbornness.

Hikaru smiled fondly. "Thanks," he said.

"For what?"

"For watching out for my brother," Hikaru said. "I'm glad he has someone other than me."

Haruhi looked away but said nothing. They made it to the car and Haruhi opened the back seat door and slid in before Hikaru. Hikaru settled in next to her.

"Hey Dad," she greeted as she put on her seatbelt.

"Hello," he said brightly. His high-pitched voice had Hikaru looking up startled. He looked normal besides a long brown ponytail. "And who are you?" he asked, looking in the rear-view mirror at Hikaru with a stern frown. "You are not dating my daughter, are you?"

Hikaru's eyes widened in shock but luckily Haruhi swept in to his rescue. "I'm not dating anyone!" Haruhi cried as the car pulled away from the curb. "I already told you!"

"Not even that Tamaki?" he asked in distaste.

"Not even him," Haruhi assured, sitting back with her arms crossed. "He scares all the guys away anyway," she mumbled quietly.

"The only thing he's good for!" Haruhi's Dad chortled.

Haruhi rolled her eyes and glanced at Hikaru. "Dad you know our neighbors, right? The ones that just adopted a teenage boy?

He nodded. "The loud ones?"

"This is his twin, Hikaru," Haruhi explained.

Suddenly the man's expression changed into one of sorrow but he kept his eyes on the road. "I'm sorry about your parents," her dad said quietly.

"Thanks, uh, Mr. Fujioka," Hikaru said.

"Please, call me Ryoji," he said. For a moment, there was a silence that settled over the car. It wasn't uncomfortable but Hikaru was a little anxious.

"Have you seen my brother at all?" Hikaru piped up.

Haruhi turned to him. "I've never seen him outside…"

"There's a lot of shouting over there," Ryoji said a bit absent-minded. "But I've never seen your brother, not once. Though it was a little quieter recently if you don't count last night."

Hikaru paled. So even Haruhi's dad noticed the yelling. Things weren't looking good and Hikaru did not know what to expect when he reached Kaoru's house. He wondered what he would find.

They pulled into the driveway next door to Kaoru's house and Hikaru looked out at it warily. He hoped his brother was okay. "Come on," Haruhi said, opening her car door and pulling Hikaru out with her. "Leave your bag here." Hikaru set his school bag down in the green front lawn, knowing he'd back for it. And if someone stole it, well, more power to them.

The two crossed the lawn to Kaoru's and stopped outside the door. They rang the doorbell. At first, all was silent. They rang it a few more times until they heard soft footsteps somewhere inside come to the door, stop, and they heard the lock being turned. The door opened, revealing Kaoru staring at them expressionlessly. "What are you guys doing here?"

Hikaru frowned, glaring at his brother. Just yesterday, Kaoru had been laughing and joking around with Hikaru at lunch, just like they used to. And now, today, Kaoru was back to his brooding self? Hikaru did not find this a coincidence. "You were gone all day," Hikaru said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"I heard yelling yesterday," Haruhi interjected, peering at him with blatant concern.

Kaoru looked at her briefly but ignored her comment. "I'm fine," he said forcefully. "I'm just sick. Ryota called the office this morning to let school know."

Hikaru looked at Kaoru closer. Kaoru certainly looked pale but he also was upright with no other physical symptoms that he could see. Hikaru noticed his brother was wearing a long-sleeve shirt again, despite the hot weather. "Is the burn healing?"

His question got a shocked expression out of Kaoru and his hand flew to his arm to clutch it a little closer to his self. "It's getting there."

"Can I see?" Hikaru challenged.

"No," Kaoru said with tightened eyes.

"Kaoru," Haruhi interrupted. "Why is your hair parted the opposite way today?"

Suddenly Hikaru noticed too. Kaoru's hair was parted the same was as Hikaru's but it was messy. Kaoru glared at the two of them. "I just rolled out of bed. I didn't notice how my hair looked before I went to answer to the door! Would you guys quit interrogating me?" He looked down and away with dull eyes.

Hikaru didn't like this sad side of his brother. He leaned forward, aiming to press his hand to Kaoru's forehead but Kaoru flinched away, looking suddenly panicked. Hikaru froze with his hand outstretched. "I was just going to check for a high temperature…"

"I'm fine, Hikaru," Kaoru said forcefully. "I'm sick, same with Emi, and we need our rest. Now if you excuse me, I'm going back to bed." He made to close the door but Hikaru caught it halfway.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Kaoru sighed, not looking at Hikaru. "Maybe." Then he shut the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Kaoru leaned back against the door and waited for the two to leave before looking up and making eye contact with Ryota. "They're gone," he said lowly to the man. He couldn't hate Ryota any more than he could at that moment. He'd left Kaoru in the stairway to the basement for hours, almost a full day, and had only let Kaoru out just two hours before Hikaru and Haruhi showed up at his door.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru," the man had the guts to say.

"I will not forgive you," Kaoru spat at Ryota. "Not while you keep hurting Emi." Ryota had managed to swallow down his pills again today and it had left him somewhat sane. "You can't keep doing this," Kaoru growled at him. "I won't just stand around and wait for you to hurt us."

Ryota nodded and looked away. "I'm going to go check up on Emi," Ryota said, avoiding the subject.

Kaoru glared and shook his head. "Whatever. Do what you want. But just remember, I'll be ready." Then Kaoru turned and stalked off, headed to the kitchen, and out into the backyard for the first time. He needed some time to think.

* * *

Ryota stared off after his adoptive son and grimaced, internally scolding himself. How could he let this happen _again?_ He was sorry, so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorrysorrysorrysorry… He really did not want to hurt Emi and Kaoru but… the medication, the doctors… it all reminded him of that time when he was young and he was wrongly diagnosed. He'd been wrongly put into a mental ward. And look at what it did to him now! He went through bouts of real craziness, all stemming off his trauma.

A flash of his own father came over him and could almost see the glint of the knife. NOnononono, NO! Ryota shook his head, fighting with his demons, tearing his fingers into his hair. No, his father was the abusive one, he wasn't crazy, HE WASN'T!

Ryota breathed hard and removed his shaky hands from his hair and glanced around warily. No, he couldn't become his father. He couldn't give into these shadows like he so often did. This was his son now, Kaoru. He had to protect him. No matter what!

He turned and stomped up the stairs and into the shared bathroom. He swung open the cabinet harshly and looked over the pill bottles with blurry eyes. "Come on, come on!" Ryota scolded himself, trying to focus in on the labels. Where was his medication?

_You don't need it! They will only make you black out. They want to keep you in the quiet room. They want to keep you locked away. They don't want you to see your family ever again._

Ryota growled and swung his hand through the stacks of medications and a whole row tumbled into the sink, swirling and clinking together loudly. Damn it, damn it, damnitdamnitdamnit. He grabbed one at random and held it up to his blurry eyes, his hands still shook. It was the right bottle! He forced the cap open and took three out, two more than he needed, and threw them down his throat dry. He would ignore the voices. He did not want to be his father.

* * *

Haruhi watched Hikaru walk down the street dismally. She could tell that everything going on with his brother was eating away at Hikaru and she was determined to find out what was going on over at the house next door.

So when she heard the clatter of a screen door from the opposite house, Haruhi paced into her own yard, trying to look casual and followed her chain linked fence along their divided line and peaked over into the yard next door. Kaoru was kicking into the dirt with his hands in his pockets.

Haruhi moved closer and placed her arms across the top of the fence so that she was leaning over. "Okay over there?" she said softly.

Kaoru's head shot up. "Fine," he grumbled, kicking into the dirt some more.

"You're getting your shoes unbelievably dirty," she pointed out.

He looked at her weird. "What do you want?"

"Nothing," she said, looking down to run her fingers along the fence. "I'm just enjoying the outdoors, standing in my yard." She looked up and found Kaoru staring at her dubiously.

"You're trying to get information out of me to pass on to Hikaru aren't you? You're trying to get me to admit I'm depressed and I need help, and blah, blah, blah."

"So you are depressed?" Haruhi asked, tilting her head with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh you're good," Kaoru said, wagging his finger at her. "I see what you're doing here. But no thank you. I don't need your help."

"You're going to have to get help sometime," Haruhi said suddenly. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him to stop being so stubborn. She didn't know what was going on exactly in Kaoru's life, now or ever, but she knew that she needed someone to talk to. "You need it."

Kaoru looked down, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah, well, I am kind of being forced to get help anyway," Kaoru said lowly with a look of utter distaste. "Hikaru and I have to start our meetings with a guidance counselor this week. I'm not sure if Hikaru told you…?"

Haruhi shook her head, eyes wide. "No…"

Kaoru smiled briefly and fondly. "Hikaru always forgets the small details. Sessions with the school counselor was part of the deal with our social worker when we moved up here. Since it's been almost two weeks, I'm guessing we've gotta get started soon." He sighed then.

"Well, it's a good thing," Haruhi said. "When my mom died…" She paused, gulping down the dreadful feeling of loss. Kaoru was staring at her suddenly, interested. "You never really get over losing them. But it gets better," she assured Kaoru. "I went to the counselors and it sucked but it helped."

"I didn't know your mom was…"

Haruhi nodded and looked down at her hands. "I don't talk about it. But I will tell you about it, if you tell me about your parents."

Kaoru turned away then. "Maybe some other time," he said shakily. And suddenly Kaoru was walking away, fast, heading back towards her house.

Haruhi wasn't disappointed. In fact, she felt that this was step one in reaching Kaoru.

* * *

Hikaru slammed the front door behind him, threw off his shoes at the front along with his bag, and stomped all the way up the stairs to his room. He slammed that door and collapsed into his bed face down. He even ignored Sparky's barks and scratches at the door.

But soon enough, the door sprang open to a wildly barking dog and a baffled Rika, followed by his adoptive father, Yasushi. "What is going on?" Yasushi said. "We heard you stomping around from all the way in the kitchen."

Hikaru turned his face into the blankets and moaned. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, muffled.

"Are you sure?" Rika asked, scooping Sparky into arms and came to sit on the edge of his bed.

"Fine, I'll tell you!" Hikaru said, sitting up. "But only because you insisted."

"I'm guessing this is about Kaoru?" Rika asked, stroking the light brown pup.

"How did you know?"

"Because it is every time." Rika sighed and turned her eyes up at the ceiling. "I keep questioning why I didn't adopt both of you. But Emi was so excited…" She turned her eyes back on Hikaru and shrugged with a crooked smile.

Hikaru nodded. "That's okay, or at least it would be okay if Kaoru would talk to me. We used to be so close and we used to tell each other everything! But ever since our parents… Ever since then, Kaoru has been brooding and depressed or something, I don't know. It's like our personalities switched." Hikaru picked up his pillow and scrunched his fingers into it with a frown. "Maybe I don't want to be happy all the time. Maybe I want to have a bad day or be who I used to be. I want the old Kaoru back, I want…" he trailed off, realizing his eyes were watering. He wiped at his eyes, angry at himself. "I shouldn't even be saying these things. I…"

Yasushi reached out and touched Hikaru's shoulder softly. "It's okay to be a little angry at your brother. But you have to remember that he is suffering as much as you. Who knows, maybe he's trying to protect you in his own way? Maybe he's keeping some this back because he wants you to be happy just like you want him to be happy."

Hikaru ground his teeth. "I'd rather have him back, depressed or not."

* * *

Emi was lying sideways on the bed, staring dully at the open doorway, listening to the scrambling of her husband in the bathroom. She heard the movement of pills and desperation in Ryota after he choked them down as he panted from the bathroom. Emi smiled weakly. He was so brave, her husband. She could see he was trying his hardest to get better. He was taking his pills and that was good enough for her!

She remembered falling in love with the troubled young man at university. He'd had a nervous tick back then that she'd found endearing. And even though he still fought with his hard past, Emi still loved. She didn't care if he hurt her in his quest to get better. He just couldn't hurt their new son.

* * *

**I'm glad that everyone is enjoying this story so far! All of your reviews help!**


	16. Chapter 16

Everything was dark in Kaoru's house and he was sitting upright on his bed, staring in the darkness at nothing, and he was scratching. His arm hurt like a bitch but it was scratchy. It was almost impossible not to scratch the wounded area. He slapped his hand down over the wound, holding fast. He needed to stop scratching. But he felt a bit of sticky liquid between his fingers and immediately grimaced. He had reopened it, he could assume.

He stood from the bed drowsily. He was tired, yes, but he couldn't sleep. All he could imagine when he closed his eyes was Ryota standing over him or his dead parents in caskets. It was haunting. He would rather not live either experience in his sleep, thank you very much.

Kaoru moved across the room and unlocked the door, slipping out in the direction of the bathroom. He locked himself into the bathroom and stood in the darkness for a moment, not wanting to blind himself in light. Nonetheless, he flipped the light switch on and he blinked rapidly until his eyes adjusted.

The first thing Kaoru did was look down at his arm and he sighed. Just as he'd thought. There was a long cut along his arm, from his wrist to halfway to the elbow. It was shallow, thankfully, but his scratching had reopened the cut. Vaguely, he realized that if you wanted to kill yourself, you would cut like this…

There were small bandages crowding his arm, except where he'd been scratching, and all of them were a deep red from the blood. His night shirt also had blood droplets across the hem. Kaoru quickly stripped off the shirt and pulled off all of his bandages, then he ran the wound under water and watched the red water swirl down the drain. After that, he checked his other arm. The other arm still had a trace of the grease burns; there were red scars splattered up his arm. Kaoru hoped that they would disappear soon.

After patching up his arm again with the other half of the bandage box, Kaoru returned to his room and changed into street clothes. He couldn't sleep. Why not go for a walk?

He stumbled through the dark down the stairs and out the front door. Then he just started walking. He didn't know where he was going but he just walked. Eventually, he came upon a park and he instantly brightened. There had been a park not too far away from his old home and he and Hikaru used to play there all day and sometimes into the night. He remembered when Mom had yelled at them for sneaking out of bed to play when they were only seven. The memories made Kaoru smile.

Kaoru crunched his way across the woodchips in the dim light of a single streetlight to the swing set that held a row of six swings. He went to a middle swing and sat down slowly and just stared at his surroundings for a minute. The park was surrounded by trees but he could see the houses that were nearby. The houses on the street were dark and there was no one around. Kaoru felt peaceful and safe. So he began swing high and fast as if he were aiming for the stars far above him. And for once, Kaoru let his tears flow in a calm silence. He had to accept his parents' deaths, he knew that, and he was going to try.

* * *

Haruhi awoke to the sharp glare of her phone and the harsh buzzing across her night stand. She groaned, cursing the small thing, but then picked it up to squint at the words. It was from Tamaki, asking about the assignment due the next day. Haruhi shifted to look at her alarm clock. It was four AM. "Idiot!" she said, and quickly texting back a reply. She swore Tamaki was the most ignorant, the most annoying… She huffed, blowing away her greasy bangs, and threw the phone onto the floor once she was done with the text. It bounced to a stop by her window and she threw her head back onto the pillow, determined to fall back to sleep.

Her phone vibrated again and lit up the whole room. Haruhi laid still for a moment, determined to ignore it. But then again, Tamaki could be stupid enough to not understand what she had told him. The thought had her crawling out of her bed and snatching up the phone while she kneeled on the floor. She opened the text and was immediately surprised. It was a text from Hikaru and all it said was _thanks._ Haruhi felt her face heat as she stared at it. Why did he…? What did it…?

She quickly replied, _You're welcome? By the way, thanks for waking up me up. Jerk._

Haruhi only had to wait a few seconds before a reply came back saying a simple, _Sucks to be you._ Now Haruhi was really red and she threw her phone once again so that it flew under her bed and she made no move to retrieve it when she heard it vibrate a moment later.

She stood up, steadying herself on the ledge of her windowsill and paused. There was a lone figure walking past her house. The person was wearing a dark hoodie but when his head tilted up towards her house, she recognized the figure immediately. That was Kaoru! She watched him disappear into his yard and she changed windows to the one that looked out over his fence. He entered his house. "And what are you doing out at this time?" Haruhi wondered aloud.

* * *

The next morning Hikaru was running late for the bus and burst out of his house with Sparky right as his heels as he raced down his driveway. The dog was barking wildly and Rika was running not far behind, yelling, "Sparky get back here! Bad dog!"

Hikaru turned and ran backwards, shaking his fist at his dog. "Sparky go back now or so help me!"

Rika caught up just as Hikaru scooped up Sparky and handed him to his adoptive mother. She latched a leash onto Sparky and Hikaru ran off again. "See you!" he hollered over his shoulder. He sprinted down the road and saw the bus just starting to pull away from his curb. Hikaru sped up and waved a hand at the bus. The bus braked and Hikaru hurtled up the steps instantly. "Sorry," Hikaru said to the bus driver.

He made his way back to where Kaoru and Haruhi were sitting. Surprisingly, the two were talking and Kaoru had a slight smile on his face. "What are you guys talking about?" Hikaru asked as he pushed his brother into the seat to make room for himself. He smiled briefly at Haruhi before turning to look at Kaoru.

"Soccer," Kaoru said.

Hikaru groaned, covering his face. "Coach is going to kill me. I skipped yesterday without giving a reason."

"Well, you and I both," Kaoru replied. "But luckily we've got an excuse today."

"We do?" Hikaru asked.

"Yeah, we're going to the counselors today."

Hikaru frowned at his brother. "Why are we doing that?"

Kaoru laughed and Haruhi with him. "You're right, he did forget," Haruhi chuckled.

"Why do I feel like I missed something?" Hikaru asked.

"Haruhi and I bet that you would forget that we had to start after-school therapy this week. Remember, Lena told us this would be a condition of living up here? We just have to go to eight sessions before school is out?" Kaoru explained.

Hikaru scrunched up his nose. "Oh yeah. Great. Well, I guess it's better than getting yelled at today." Honestly though, Hikaru was happy about this. Maybe today, he could start to repair his relationship with his brother.

* * *

**This chapter was more of a 'bridge' chapter, to flow into the next round of craziness, so be patient!**


	17. Chapter 17

Kaoru forced a smile at the lady counselor as Hikaru settled in the chair next to him. Unconsciously, Kaoru rubbed his throbbing arm and glanced around the small room. It was boring, like any other high school room, with only a book shelf, the woman's desk, and a few chairs. Everything was in shades of brown, which Kaoru found particularly discouraging and bland.

"I'm glad you boys came to me upon your own accord," the woman spoke softly. "The end of the school year is coming up so we will have to fit in as many sessions as we possibly can. Does that sound okay?"

Kaoru glanced up at her warily. There was nothing remarkable about the woman; she had a bland, average face with straight black hair with gray-blue eyes. She had asked them to refer to as 'Nana.'

Nana wasn't looking at Kaoru, but had turned her eyes on Hikaru. Kaoru was glad of it. Sure, he wants to get better; Kaoru wants to overcome his parents' deaths. But now, sitting in this office, staring at this woman, Kaoru felt a sudden ferocity to protect his secrets. Maybe that was a normal reaction to counselors?

"If it weren't for Kaoru, here, I would have forgotten we even had this to do," Hikaru said, slumping back in his chair.

The twins exchanged a look of apprehension and Nana caught it immediately. "This isn't something to be afraid of, boys," she assured them. "I am no shrink. I am only here to listen to whatever you want to tell me. None of it will leave this room. And if either of you have something you want to talk about anything individually, we can also arrange that as well."

Kaoru remained silently and Hikaru rolled his eyes. "How many of these sessions do we need to do before school is out?"

"Eight," Kaoru reminded Hikaru quietly.

Nana glanced over to Kaoru curiously and he squirmed beneath his skin. A prickly sensation spread across his body and there was a distant urge to leave. "Is there anything the two of you would like to talk about?" Nana asked, seemingly directing her question at Kaoru, but she looked at Hikaru as well.

Kaoru sank a little lower in his seat, tightening his nails against his sleeve. So many things flashed across Kaoru's mind: his parents, his adoptive home, his wounds, the increasing sadness he was feeling… All of these things Kaoru could've talked about, but instead, he clamped his mouth shut.

Hikaru caught Kaoru's eye, urging Kaoru to start, but when he didn't, Hikaru leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "I think we should talk about our parents," Hikaru began.

Nana nodded. "They passed away just a few weeks ago, yes?"

"Yeah," Hikaru continued. "They died in that huge storm we had. We were over at a friend's house after a game. The…" Hikaru trailed off, looking down at his hands. "The house fell in on them. If we would have been there, we would…"

"We would be dead," Kaoru finished for him in a monotone voice. They looked at him to elaborate but Kaoru only looked on with hard, dull eyes. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't. They had to stop. Kaoru looked away at the bookshelf, looking at the textbooks sightlessly.

"Right," Kaoru heard Hikaru sigh. "And Kaoru blames himself."

Kaoru glanced at Nana to see her straighten up in surprise. "Why would you think that, Kaoru?" she asked quietly.

"I do not think that," Kaoru said lowly with a frown.

Hikaru glared. "You do too, but you shouldn't!"

"Hikaru, shut up!"

Hikaru stood up violently, knocking his chair to the side. "I won't, Kaoru. I won't! You think it's your fault, admit it!"

"And you believe it!" Kaoru hollered, flying to his feet.

Silence and shock filled the room. Hikaru looked as if Kaoru had slapped him. Reaching slowly, Hikaru settled a shaky hand against Kaoru's shoulder, and leaned in closely. "I would never think that," Hikaru said roughly.

Kaoru wiped at his eyes. "Yes you do," he said miserably. "You don't say it, but you do."

Hikaru tilted his head, studying Kaoru in horror. "Why would you think that? What could possibly-"

"Because they were in my room when they died."

Hikaru's eyes watering and he clutched Kaoru's arms a little tighter. "Come on, that doesn't have anything to do with it. Your room is on the bottom floor. It was safer than—"

"They were looking for us… for me, Hikaru. I forgot to call them…" Kaoru trailed off, trying to breathe slowly. "If I'd just called them when I was supposed to, they wouldn't have died. They were in my room. They were looking!" His voice was rising with hysterics as he got lost in it all. "Your room would have been a safer to stay during the storm, don't tell me they were in my room for that reason!"

Hikaru smashed Kaoru into a hug, clutching his brother hard as Kaoru shook. "Is this why you haven't been talking to me? Is this why you've been so distant?"

Kaoru froze for a moment, thinking of Ryota, the knife, and the all the things that happened. He could tell them. He could get this all out into the open. Kaoru opened his mouth but then Hikaru interrupted him.

"This is good, Kaoru," Hikaru said quietly, pressing his temple against Kaoru's. "We can get through this. It wasn't your fault, and when you see that, we can go back to how we were before. You can be happy."

Kaoru swallowed his secret down into himself. He wouldn't tell them. That was something he could deal with for himself; he didn't want Hikaru to worry anymore. "Yeah," Kaoru said quietly. "Maybe."

The session went quickly after that. Kaoru stayed quiet for the most part, but Hikaru had talked for the both of them but nothing was a breakthrough. Nana talked about how they would lay out the next few sessions and encouraged them to talk about everyday problems at other sessions, too. Kaoru silently refused to. If he said too much, he was sure he would give his secret away. He wanted Hikaru to be happy, and if that meant enduring Ryota, so be it. He would protect Hikaru.

Nana finished up the session, saying, "This was a good start, I think. We will continue this on Thursday." They had agreed that Tuesdays and Thursdays would be meet-up days for these last four weeks of school.

"Thanks," Kaoru forced out. He was determined to make it look like he was better, even if he wasn't, if only to reassure Hikaru.

"Yeah, thanks," Hikaru said quickly.

"Actually, before you go, Kaoru, I would like to speak to you privately."

Kaoru nodded, paling just slightly, and turned to Hikaru. "I'll be right out."

Hikaru looked at the two suspiciously but left nonetheless, leaving the two alone. Kaoru sighed and waited. Maybe she already suspected what was going on. Kaoru looked up at her with heavy dread.

"How are things?" she asked simply instead.

Kaoru eyed her dubiously. "Fine…"

She pursed her lips. "You have been scratching at your arm a lot…?"

Kaoru realized he was still clutching his wounded arm and dropped it suddenly. "What are you saying?"

"When some teenagers go through such traumatic experiences as these," she began, "some happen to fall into a depressed state and some even resort to—"

"I'm not cutting myself, if that's what you mean," Kaoru growled. He was clutching at his arm again without realizing.

"I just mean that I think that we should talk about—"

Kaoru stood suddenly and glared heavily. "I don't cut myself." Kaoru grew more frustrated when her expression didn't change. "I don't." Then he turned on his heel and stormed out into the hall, almost taking out Hikaru with the door. Kaoru raged on, not pausing to wait for Hikaru.

When Hikaru caught up, he wore an expression of worry once again. "What happened?"

Kaoru didn't like seeing that look on his brother's face, so he forced himself to relax. "Nothing, it's fine. It'll be okay." He didn't know why everyone thought he would cut himself. He… he wouldn't. But he wasn't so sure that statement was so true anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

Interlude- views from the outside

**Wednesday (the next day)**

Tamaki kicked the soccer ball back and forth with his teammates in the hallway and it bounced between students as they made their way down the hallway. Tamaki laughed as he saw Kyoya standing, oblivious, by his locker. When the ball was passed to him, he aimed the ball and sent a hard pass at his friend, hitting Kyoya straight in the back.

Kyoya spun his heel, dropped his book, and glared around until he spotted Tamaki. "I swear to God, Tamaki!" Kyoya hollered.

"Now you did it!" One of Tamaki's teammates called.

Quickly, Tamaki jogged over to Kyoya, calling over his shoulder to his friends. "I'll be at practice in a little while!" Then he scooped up the ball and Kyoya's book and handed it to him.

Kyoya huffed, took it, and stuffed it into his locker. "If you are going to ruin my textbooks, you better be prepared to pay for it."

"Loosen up, Kyoya!" Tamaki said with a smile. "Are you going to stay after with Haruhi to watch our practice?"

Kyoya shook his head as he began to stuff his things into his backpack. "I have a pile of homework to attend to, not to mention my chores, all of which have to be finished by the time my father returns from work." He scrunched his eyebrows as he tried to fit one last textbook into the already overflowing bag.

Tamaki rested his hand on Kyoya's shoulder. "You don't have to try to please him at everything, Kyoya," Tamaki said. He knew that Mr. Ootari, Kyoya's father, was a very strict man who dreamed of the best for his children. But Tamaki also knew that Kyoya tried much too hard to please a man who was never satisfied. "Come on, Kyoya. Live a little."

Kyoya glared and slammed his locker. "I live, Tamaki, just as much as you. My life is just filled with more purpose than yours, that's all," he spat. Then he turned on his heel and stalked into the crowd.

Tamaki was stung, yes. He always was. But he waited in that same spot until he saw Kyoya return, looking angry and maybe a little worried.

"I didn't mean—" Kyoya began, looking at the floor.

Tamaki held up his hand. "It's okay, Kyoya. Just come to a practice when your dad is on a business trip, okay? Now go home and do your homework."

Kyoya's lips quirked into a half smile before he stalked off again. Tamaki supposed everyone had their problems in high school. Kyoya never felt adequate enough; Tamaki was struggling to maintain his leading position in soccer… Tamaki narrowed his eyes at the thought. Ever since those devil twins had come to this school, Tamaki was wavering at the top of their team. Hikaru and Kaoru were on the verge of beating him.

"Have you seen Hikaru?"

Tamaki jumped. "Don't do that!" Tamaki cried, turning to Haruhi.

"So? Have you?"

Tamaki shook his head, peering across the busy hallway as kids rushed to leave the school. "No, why?"

She looked up at him with her big, brown eyes with flushed lips and Tamaki was instantly jealous. This girl, that he had had a crush on for years, cared more and more about the twins as the days went on. Tamaki wondered if she was attracted to either of them. "It's Kaoru," she breathed and suddenly her eyes were full of fear.

Tamaki's eyes widened. "What about him?"

Haruhi looked away and shook her head. "You wouldn't understand," she said and turned away.

Tamaki caught her hand. "What? What's going on with them?" She looked up with watery eyes. "They're my friends, too," he said. They were, even though he didn't know much about them.

"Haruhi!"

Haruhi spun and Tamaki saw Hikaru rushing quickly towards them, his eyes trained on Haruhi. "Did you find him?" Haruhi asked, yanking her arm from Tamaki's grasp, and going to Hikaru.

Hikaru shook his head, pressing a hand to his forehead. "I really don't know what has gotten into him."

"Well, we have to find him quick, before he does something stupid!"

"What is going on?" Tamaki raised his voice over theirs.

They both looked at him but Hikaru spoke up. "We're looking for Kaoru, have you seen him? There is a rumor going around school that he got into a fight and I need to find him!" Hikaru's face was pale.

Tamaki frowned. "I haven't seen or heard anything."

At his words, the two instantly lost interest in him and soon they were running off without him. Tamaki watched them, worried. Now that he thought about it, Kaoru didn't seem like the fighting type. He could see why his friends were worried.

Tamaki shifted the ball in his hands. Maybe it was time to understand these twins a bit more. Maybe he could help.

* * *

Kyoya walked across the green grass of the fields behind the high school, walking in the direction of his home. He counted his fingers as he walked. He needed to one, write his essay for English, two, email his group members on the cell science project, and three, finish up the Calculus 2 assignment he'd started in his free period. Then he had his assortment of chores: dishes, dusting…

He trailed off in his thoughts as he paused at the base of the football field, which was off to the side a little from the soccer and baseball field. At the top of the bleachers, far above him, was a figure sitting hunched against the fenced back. Kyoya squinted, taking in the red hair of a Hitachiin twin.

Kyoya frowned, looking away from the twin to the grass field and the houses beyond. He had very little time to spare, as his father was returning in only two hours. However, glancing back up the boy, Kyoya recognized the slumping figure to be Kaoru and immediately knew that he couldn't ignore him.

Slowly, Kyoya rounded the bleachers and slowly made his ascent to the top. When he reached Kaoru, he stopped to stand over him for a few minutes until Kaoru finally looked up, acknowledging Kyoya's presence.

"What?" Kaoru snapped.

Kyoya took in the bloody nose Kaoru was sporting and a heavy bruise across his left cheekbone. "A fight?" Kyoya asked.

Kaoru looked away to the field. "I make a good punching bag, don't I?"

"I take it that you didn't win?"

"No," Kaoru sighed, looking down at his hands which were tucked up against his chest. "Didn't even land a punch." He glanced up at Kyoya. "I suppose you are wondering what happened?"

"It's none of my business," Kyoya said with a shrug.

Kaoru studied him for a moment. "Well, it was basically over nothing. I just ran into the dude and he started beating the shit out of me."

"Who was it?"

"I thought you said it was none of your business," Kaoru said, amused.

Kyoya smiled slightly. "I suppose it wasn't."

Kaoru raked his sleeve across his nose, spreading blood across the blue edge. "It was those emo kids. They were the ones that smoke behind the maintenance building and skip class."

"News like that will spread like wildfire in this school," Kyoya stated.

Nodding, Kaoru struggled to his feet. "Great. I'll be the punching bag here and at home." He quieted, frozen in place, before looking shyly up at Kyoya with watery eyes.

Suddenly Kyoya was grounded with the enormity of what Kaoru was telling him. "Kaoru…"

Kaoru smiled. "No, I'm just kidding," he said desperately. "Just forget what I said." He stepped around Kyoya and stomped down the steps.

Kyoya followed. "Do you want me to keep this a secret?" he asked as they neared the bottom of the steps.

Pausing, Kaoru turned to look up at him. "I don't know what you are talking about." Then Kyoya watched Kaoru walk in the opposite direction of where Kyoya was heading. There was a side of Kaoru, perhaps, that Kyoya hadn't caught before today. Suddenly he found himself wondering what he could do to help.


	19. Chapter 19

Kaoru hadn't meant to get into the fight; it sort of just happened. It was Wednesday, after school, and he was determined to skip soccer. He just wasn't into it today. Yesterday, after his therapy session, he'd discovered that Ryota was back on his medication and was acting like a saint yet again. How long until he beat on Kaoru again? Or what about Emi for that matter? The thought of her being hurt while he was playing soccer was what compelled him to escape the school desperately, leaving his bag and books in his locker.

He rounded a corner at the side of the school and ran into a body. That's where it started. "What the fuck?" the kid said in annoyance.

Kaoru backed up a bit. There were five kids, all wearing dark colors and holding cigarettes. Kaoru wanted to roll his eyes at these kids. How more cliché could they get? Not wasting any time, Kaoru tried to step around the group but the tallest flung his hand out to stop Kaoru. "What are you doing back here?" he asked, gesturing to the quiet area behind the maintenance building.

Kaoru looked around. Not many people were around, except for a few students walking along the sidewalk nearby. Kaoru looked back at the guy. "Just trying to get home," Kaoru said lowly.

"You aren't supposed to be back here."

Shrugging off the hand, Kaoru said, "Fine, I won't come back here anymore." He'd only come back this way because it looked like a shortcut to his house. He tried to step away again.

The tallest grabbed him again and laughed. "Well, since you're new, we'll let you off easy this time." He swung back and hit Kaoru straight along the cheek.

Kaoru cried out, stumbling, but the kid caught Kaoru and twisted his arms behind his back so that he couldn't defend himself. "One more for luck," the tall kid laughed in his ear.

He didn't see who hit him next, but it came hard against his nose and he was sent to the ground, free from their grasp. Kaoru gasped and immediately clutched at his nose. It was wet from blood and it stung like a bitch. "Now get out of here!" one hollered at him.

Kaoru didn't waste one second. He just scrambled away, wiping the blood away and keeping his eyes downcast. He didn't even know where he was walking; he just pushed his way through a small group of students that had stopped to watch, and somehow ended up at the bleachers.

He sniffed and sunk down against the top. Why? Why couldn't he defend himself? Why was he so pathetic? Kaoru wrapped his hands around his knees and sunk into himself miserably, trying not to feel anything.

Not long after, Kaoru sensed a presence above him and when he looked up, he was surprised to see Kyoya there. They barely knew each other; why would he be here? "What?" Kaoru snapped out, hoping he would just go away.

He ended up talking to Kyoya and suddenly, he found these words stumbling from his mouth, "Great. I'll be the punching bag here and at home." He was standing now, frozen, with wide eyes. Shit. Did he really just say that? He looked up at Kyoya, looking for a reaction, with watery eyes.

"Kaoru…" Kyoya began. His face was composed, but Kaoru could sense the concern there. He didn't need pity. He didn't need any of it. Kaoru had already decided that he would take care of himself; there was no way in hell he was letting Kyoya try to help. There was no way Kyoya could help anyway; anything he could say could ruin everything!

"No, I'm kidding. Just forget what I said," Kaoru said, trying to sound normal. But he desperately needed to get away, before Kyoya asked more questions. So he turned away, making his way down the stairs.

"Do you want me to keep this a secret?" Kyoya asked, just as Kaoru was almost free.

Kaoru turned on him, staring up at Kyoya. Kyoya had never seemed like the caring type to him. "I don't know what you are talking about," Kaoru said forcefully, trying to get his point across. Then he stalked off, hoping to God that Kyoya would keep this to himself. But just in case, he would have to find a way of blackmailing Kyoya.

* * *

When Kaoru returned home, he walked into a sight he was not expecting. Emi was there by the door, embracing Ryota and giving him a deep kiss. Kaoru stopped in his tracks, gaping.

"Oh, you're home!" Emi exclaimed, pulling away from Ryota's arms.

Kaoru stared at the two. How could they be so lovey dovey after everything that had happened? Kaoru opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Seeing his confusion, Emi turned her husband. "Why don't you finish up in the kitchen?"

Ryota nodded and paced away without a word. As soon as he was out of sight, Kaoru glared at Emi. "What the hell?" Kaoru whispered.

She looked broken then. "He's not a bad guy, Kaoru." She reached out to touch his bruised face.

"Bullshit." He smacked her hand away. She didn't deserve to know what had happened to him today.

"You don't know his past. You don't know what is happening to him."

Kaoru felt the anger bubbling through his veins. "Then why doesn't he get help? Why does he beat on us? Why did he have to lock me in the basement?"

Emi looked on the verge of tears. "Because he's afraid. With the medication, he becomes paranoid because of a traumatic experience; without it, he becomes a monster, like his father. There is no win here!" Her voice rose as she went on. "I don't expect you to understand, but this is the way it is."

Kaoru worked his hands into fists. "Ever since I've gotten here, I've only experienced misery and abuse. What's to stop me from to telling someone?" He already had, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

Suddenly she was scooping him into a hug. "Please," she begged quietly into his ear. "Please don't. If you just get to know him, maybe you will understand why things have to be this way."

Kaoru wanted to cry. Why couldn't they leave? Why couldn't he and Emi live a happier life? Kaoru was overwhelmed with hate, with fear, with _everything. _ He pushed her away and he flew to the kitchen. Ryota looked up from his cooking, surprised, but Kaoru ignored him, searching for the rack of knives. They were gone, probably hidden away after the last incident. But then Kaoru spotted it; it was the knife that had cut his arm, lying partially under the counter. He lunged, picked it up, and stared at the blood spatter dried across the blade.

"What are you doing?" Emi cried, just getting to the kitchen.

Kaoru looked from Emi's bruised face to Ryota's wide eyes. "I can't take this anymore," Kaoru whispered. He tucked the blade upwards into his sleeve and he winced when he barely brushed his wound. Then he launched his self out of the room, running up the stairs two at a time.

"Kaoru, what are you doing?" Emi called, following him. "Ryota, help me!"

Kaoru could hear the pounding on the steps behind him and his blood began to rush with the adrenaline. Maybe today it could all be over. Maybe today he would give in. He threw his self into the bathroom, dropping the knife into the sink, and slammed the door shut just as Ryota appeared. Kaoru locked it quickly and backed away.

Ryota landed against the door with a bang and continued to try to force the door. "Kaoru, open this door!" Ryota roared.

Kaoru went to the sink, breathing hard, staring at his reflection. He picked up the knife…

"Please, Kaoru!" Emi sobbed.

Her sobbing put Kaoru over the edge and he slumped against the mirror, pressing his forehead against the glass. He sobbed as he heard Ryota bang once against the door again. Kaoru looked down at the knifein his hand. It clinked against the sink as he held it up.

"Don't do this," Emi said against the door. The door shook with another bang.

Kaoru rolled up his sleeves and revealed the puckered wound from the knife and his burns on his other arm. Then he held the knife against his burned arm. He could end it all.

"_Please_!" Emi sobbed against the door.

Come on, do it, Kaoru urged himself. Do it.

There was another bang and tremor against the door.

Kaoru stared and stared, letting all of the noise blur. He moved his hand, ready to make the cut, when the door slammed open, revealing his adoptive parents. Emi was sobbing and Ryota was in tears as well. Kaoru stared at them, caught in the act.

Then Ryota was there, taking the knife from his grip and throwing it into the sink, and then he wrapped Kaoru into a hard hug. Kaoru was in shock. "Never do that again," Ryota murmured into his hair.

Emi joined them, wrapping Kaoru into her embrace as well. "What would we do if we lost you?" she cried, getting tears all over his cheeks.

They cared. Both of them do, Kaoru came to realize, and it confused him more then ever.

* * *

**I'm trying to update more often. Reviews motivate me! Please?**


	20. Chapter 20

Kaoru had told the two of them, Emi and Ryota, that he wanted to be alone, but of course they hadn't. It was much later now and Kaoru was sitting in his room staring at the picture of his real family on the wall with a heavy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was unsure when Emi had wrapped the blanket around him, maybe an hour or so ago? Beside Kaoru was his hardly touched dinner. He glanced at it and realized it was cold. It wasn't like he was starving himself or anything. He was hungry, but he couldn't stomach the thought of food, especially what appeared to be cold macaroni and, well, he didn't know what else that brown mush was.

He looked back at the picture longingly and rubbed at his arm. Ryota had put fresh bandages on his arm along with a series of apologies for that night when he'd come home drunk. Kaoru looked down at the bandages. Was Ryota that bad of a guy? What was really rolling around in that head of his? He brushed his fingers along them but froze when he heard a knock at the door.

Kaoru looked over his shoulder. Ryota was standing at the open door, smiling sheepishly, causing Kaoru to frown in confusion. Ryota was even holding two mugs in his hands. "Emi didn't let you close your door, I'm guessing?"

"No," Kaoru said slowly. He turned and brought his legs up onto the bed to look at the man. "I was just about to go to bed," Kaoru hinted. He didn't feel much like talking.

"It will only take a minute." Ryota crossed the room and rounded the bed and came to sit by Kaoru. He set his second mug onto the bedside table by Kaoru. "This is my family's special recipe for hot chocolate. I guarantee it's better than any other hot chocolate you've ever had."

Kaoru shifted uncomfortably, picked up his mug and looked at warily. What if he poisoned it? He shook off the thought and took a little sip. It was alright, he would admit, but it wasn't the best he had. Regardless, he looked up at Ryota and gave him a wry smile. "It's good."

Ryota fiddled with his own mug and looked away to Kaoru's family photo on the wall. He smiled. "Your parents look like nice people."

"They were," Kaoru said warmly, setting his mug back down. "They were the best."

"You know, I wasn't always like this," Ryota said suddenly, still looking at Kaoru's photo. "It was because of my father." At these words, the two met eyes and tension soaked the room.

"What did he do?"

"He would beat me constantly… a bit like I've done to you. And he would call me nasty names… Then, when I tried to tell someone, I messed it up and made myself look crazy. My father had me locked up…" He trailed off, staring at the wall. Kaoru straightened up, surprised. What had happened to him that had made him turn out this way?

"They drugged me quite a bit," Ryota continued, glancing at Kaoru. "It wasn't a feeling I liked. I was lethargic and it often brought me to the edge of depression. That is why I still struggle with the pills today. They make me feel… so off. But when I tried to take myself off the pills, I came to realize that I was not myself any longer. A side effect is that I have intense night terrors and hallucinations. I'm not sure how it gotten to that point. It was probably a combination of the physical and mental abuse, the drugs, and the loss of my family. I don't know."

"How did you get out?" Kaoru found himself asking.

Ryota looked away again. "They realized my claim of abuse was true after my father physically attacked a new girlfriend. I was about fourteen when it all began, but I was seventeen when I got out. I was granted emancipation and things started to go back uphill after that. I met Emi after that in college." He smiled warmly, tapping at his chin.

"And when did it go downhill?"

Ryota grimaced. "The separation from my father granted me stability for a few years. I no longer required medication, the doctors even said so. But then… my father died four years ago. I was a mess, so much of a mess that Emi left me for about a year. That year made it worse. I had no one. I haven't been the same since, even when Emi and I got back together and married a few years back when I turned thirty." He chuckled to himself. "This will sound bad to say, but I'm glad Emi is barren. This way, I can't pass on this mental sickness to another generation."

Silence settled for a moment and the two sipped idly at their hot chocolate. Kaoru didn't know what to say really. This all didn't justify much and he still had a lot of questions. There were still a lot of loopholes in his story. "Where do you get your medication then?"

"I'd rather not say," Ryota replied shiftily.

"Illegally," Kaoru said unimpressed.

"I can't have them knowing that I am unwell! They would drag me back into another hell hole and they would take you away! I can't do that," Ryota exclaimed.

"Well, why don't you get some help? Go to a therapist at least!"

Ryota stiffened, staring at Kaoru. "That would be for the same reason, aren't you listening?" Ryota brought a frustrated hand to his forehead and breathed deeply, calming himself.

"You obviously need help," Kaoru said, standing and gesturing at Ryota. "Don't you care about Emi?"

Ryota glared at Kaoru. "I care about both of you."

Kaoru was taken aback for a second but it didn't sway him. "Then you should get help."

"I can't," he growled.

"Why not?" Kaoru snapped, starting to lose his temper. "Why can't you make things easier on all of us? You are so selfish! Can't you see what is going on around you?"

Suddenly Ryota flew to his feet, towering over Kaoru with his hands clenched. Kaoru instantly flinched away at the man, terrified. Seeing the look on Kaoru's face, Ryota again put a hand over his forehead and forced his self to breathe. "I think we should leave this alone for the night."

"Yes, I think we should," Kaoru said unevenly.

Ryota turned and moved swiftly out of the room, closing the door behind him. Finally, Kaoru was alone but it did not make him feel any better.

* * *

Haruhi was sitting up late in her room, studying for the History exam the next day, when she saw a flickering shadow out of the corner of her eye from the window to her left. She was sitting at her desk and she had a clear view of the street. She squinted at the figure and recognized the sweatshirt. "Kaoru, what are you doing?" she said in annoyance. She had no time to worry about him at this time of night.

She glanced at her textbook, debating for only a split second, before she raced downstairs to the front door. Haruhi was still in her pajamas and was wearing mismatching flip flops, but she wasn't ever really someone to care about her appearance. She did, however, run her hands through her mussed pixie cut. It had to look horrible by now.

Haruhi closed her door quietly and raced lightly across her front lawn to follow the figure. She clutched in her left hand a flashlight. Of course, she didn't turn it on, but she held it at the ready.

Quickly, she picked up her pace to a light jog behind him as he reached the end of the street. "Kaoru," Haruhi called softly. "Kaoru!"

He stopped not far in front of her and turned towards her. She ran to meet him at the intersection. "Geez, Kaoru, what are you doing out at this time?"

Kaoru looked at her oddly. "I didn't force you to come trailing after me."

"Well, I saw you outside the other night, too, so I was…" she trailed off, catching the sad look in his eyes. He was trying to hide it with that awful fake smile of his, Haruhi could tell. "What's wrong?"

He instantly grimaced, throwing his hands up. "Why does everyone assume that there is something wrong with me?" He began walking again, fast.

Haruhi did not let herself get left behind. "I can tell. You can't hide these things from me, Kaoru."

"Would you stop following me?"

"You have to tell me what's wrong!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm your friend, and I am not just going to leave you alone!"

Kaoru groaned, pressed his fists into his eyes, and turned towards her. He slowly removed his hands, looking at her warily. "Can't you leave this alone? Please? There is nothing about me that needs to be investigated, okay?"

Haruhi casted him a pained expression. She really wanted to slap some sense into him. "Come _on._ I can see that something is going on that you aren't talking about. Hikaru can see it and even your counselor can see it. You are going to tell us and it better be sooner rather than later. Whatever you are going through, you can go through it with friends at your side!"

"Did Hikaru tell you about our counselor meeting?" His eyes flashed.

Haruhi bit her lip.

"Unbelievable." Kaoru marched away again.

Haruhi groaned. "Kaoru!" She caught up with him easily.

"Why should I trust the two of you if you tell each other everything? Why should I tell you a single thing?"

They walked in silence and Haruhi thought his words over. It did make sense. He wanted his privacy and she reluctantly admitted that she could… "I'll keep it a secret."

Kaoru shot her a glance of pure distrust.

"I will!"

"Right," Kaoru murmured. Haruhi watched him sit down on a swing and suddenly she had to look around. Now when did they get to a park?

"Where are we?" she asked in her surprise.

"A park," Kaoru said shortly.

"Ha, ha, very funny." She clicked on her flashlight and beamed right into his eyes.

"Hey!" he gasped, blinking rapidly. He raised a hand to block the light.

She wrenched his hand away and waved the flashlight at him. "You have to tell me what it is. I am perfectly capable of following you around with this flashlight all night."

Kaoru rolled his eyes and pushed his swing backwards, starting into a swing. "You'll have to catch me first," he said with a genuine smile.

Haruhi huffed, switching her flashlight off. But then she settled into the swing directly next to his and joined in, trying to climb higher in the air than Kaoru.

They swung silently for a while in the middle of the six swings, in the center of a secluded park, staring up at the stars. It was a calming feeling and Haruhi began to wonder how she'd never found this park. After all, it was extremely close to her current residence.

"How about on three, we both jump off?" Kaoru said suddenly. They were swinging hard at this point, slightly bouncing at the top of each arc.

"No, I'll mess up my ankles!" But she smiled at him.

He laughed. "It's not my fault if you fall flat on your face."

Her smile turned into a grin. "I bet that I will go farther than you on the jump."

"It's a bet!" He said. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be!"

"One," Kaoru started.

"Two," she inputted.

"Three!" he hollered.

They both let go, flying up into the air in the cool night hair. Haruhi shrieked good-naturedly just before she hit the woodchips, tumbling. Kaoru hit the ground beside her with a grunt but he laughed hard. Haruhi glanced up and scrunched up her face. "There is no way that just happened."

Kaoru forced his laughter down but he was still grinning. "I told you I would beat you." He had landed just inches past Haruhi, claiming his win.

Haruhi shook her head. "How did I get sucked into such a childish game?" Briefly, she glanced up at the stars again, admiring the sight.

"Haruhi?"

"Hmm?" She looked back and found Kaoru shifting under her gaze.

"I'll tell you."

* * *

**Geez, I keep doing this. I keep updating within just a few days and then I leave you hanging for a week and a half. Nope, I can't let this happen again. I WILL update more. I will force myself. Besides, I still have a lot to go! I need to get cracking.**


	21. Chapter 21

Kaoru exhaled slowly, watching Haruhi turn her head up to stare at the sky above. He contemplated for a moment that only lasted seconds before he blurted, "I'll tell you."

He didn't mean to say it, he really hadn't, but now she was staring at him with wide eyes. Haruhi gaped at him and asked, "Tell me what?"

Kaoru looked away, swallowed thickly, and ruffled his orange hair over his eyes. What should he tell her? What should he say? Panic seared up through his veins and he forced himself to think clearly. He couldn't tell her about his home life; there was too much at stake. But he wanted to, _he had to,_ tell her something. He was tired of being alone.

With an overwhelmed sigh, Kaoru stood and made his way back to his swing and sat down warily. Haruhi followed but watched him with a guarded look on her face. "You won't tell anyone?" Kaoru asked, tilting his head to look at her.

She sat down on the swing next to him, biting her lip, before looking up at him. "How can I promise that? What if it's really bad?"

Kaoru moved his swing lightly back and forth as a distraction. "You have to promise, or I won't tell you."

Haruhi fidgeted, moving her fingers along the chains of the swing. She was frowning, clearly conflicted. "But—"

"You gotta promise."

She sighed but nodded. "Fine, I promise."

Kaoru dug his feet into the wood chips, stopping his swing completely and looked down into his lap. He gripped the chains hard, feeling slightly sick about what he was about to tell her. "I tried to kill myself today," he murmured. As soon as he said it, terror shot threw him. What would she think of him now? Would she think he was a coward, taking the easy way out? He looked up at her, terrified.

Haruhi shook her head, frowning. "What did you say?"

"Do I have to say it again?" Kaoru practically pleaded.

She blinked several times and looked away. "I don't know if I heard you right. Did you just say you almost killed yourself?"

There was pause where no one breathed. Kaoru looked up at her and her eyes snapped to his, and they were frozen. The reality of what could have happened that day slammed down upon them. Kaoru couldn't take it anymore, so he looked away first.

"What the hell, Kaoru?" she cried.

Kaoru flinched hard; he knew this would happen. Why did he have to tell her? Now she would only pity him and she would…

"Do you realize what could have happened?" she said. She was standing in front of him now.

Kaoru hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "I know how you guys would feel and I know that it would hurt Hikaru and I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to… to…" he trailed off, pressing his face into his hands.

The air was quiet around them, still warm with fresh spring air. There was crunch in the wood chips and Kaoru flinched when he felt a light touch to his knees. "Kaoru," she said softly.

He looked up through his bangs at his friend. She was kneeling in front of his swing with her arms draped lightly over his knees, peering up at him. "Kaoru, this is not about everyone else and their feelings. This is about you. You've got to think about yourself and _your _future and _your _happiness." Her face was fierce and full of determination. "Are you going to tell me why you…?"

Kaoru shook his head. "No," he whispered. "I can't."

She nodded and took his hand. "That's okay. It's okay."

"Don't pity me," Kaoru said, jerking his hand away. He stood shakily, knocking her arms off his lap, and he paced away a few feet. "Why did I even tell you?"

"Because I'm your friend, whether you like it or not," she said.

Kaoru heard a rustling from behind and he turned to look at her in curiosity. She had dug her phone out of her pocket and it glowed against her face as she typed into it. "What are you doing?" Kaoru asked. The fear tightened his chest.

"I'm going to call Hikaru." Her voice was shaky and desperate.

"No, you can't!" Kaoru cried. He snatched up the phone and held it out of her reach. "Come on, Haruhi, you promised five minutes ago that you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"You can't go through this alone and you can't just rely on me, so we have to tell someone." She tried to reach past him to snatch the phone from his arm far above. It was too far. She ended up dropping her arm and staring at him sadly.

Kaoru huffed. "I can't tell anyone. This is my problem, and I'll deal with this myself."

"But Hikaru will—"

"No," Kaoru growled. He took the pink phone and tucked it away in his pants pocket. "We can't bring him into this." He had to blink away the unshed tears. "He's finally happy, Haruhi. For the first time since our parents' death, Hikaru is happy and I want to keep it that way."

"But you need to be happy too!" Haruhi said, starting to grow angry.

"Hikaru—"

Haruhi grabbed his arm hard, staring right into his eyes. "Kaoru, how can I help you? What can I do?" she pleaded. "I don't want you going through this alone."

They were staring at each other again. Kaoru didn't want this; he wished he hadn't told her a thing. He didn't want her help or anyone's help but it was already too late for that. Kaoru sighed. "Kyoya," he said.

"What?" She frowned at him.

"We can tell Kyoya and that's it, okay?"

"Why Kyoya?" Her face quirked with confusion.

"I kinda… almost told him earlier today… after school," he explained. Technically, he'd almost told Kyoya about Ryota, but he could spin this the other way. He knew that if he could distract the two of them with his almost suicide, he could buy his self some time to sort out everything at home. Kaoru didn't want people to know that how weak and defenseless he really was.

She nodded, her face pulled taut with worry. "Okay, we will tell him tomorrow, right?"

Kaoru nodded. He was in much too deep and he had a feeling it was all going to come crashing down. "Yeah, we'll do that."

* * *

**Well, the stress keeps piling up for our dear Kaoru, isn't it?**


	22. Chapter 22

Kaoru awoke to someone shaking his shoulder and he sat upright immediately, finding Emi standing over him. Her face was clear and free of bruising. "How…?" he voiced aloud.

"Hurry, you need to get dressed," Emi said, crossing the room to his dresser. She picked out a nice long-sleeve shirt for him that would cover his wounds and tossed it to him. "Lena is stopping in to visit today."

Kaoru flew to his feet, immediately shrugging the shirt over his head to cover his exposed chest and his bandage on his arm. "The social worker?"

She nodded, searching for some jeans for Kaoru and pulled out a pair at random and threw it to him. "She called just a half hour ago to give us short-notice warning, but if we are fast enough, maybe I can you get to school and she won't have to question you about what has been going on." She slammed the drawers to the dresser shut.

Quickly, Kaoru shoved his legs into his jeans and zipped himself up just in time to catch the socks that Emi launched at him. "How long till she's here?"

Suddenly the doorbell rang ominously throughout the house and the two froze, looking at each other. "She's here!" Emi cried. She went to Kaoru and shoved a bottle into his hand. "This is my make-up; apply it to any spot on your skin that may be red or bruised. I'll answer the door. Go!" She made her way to the door.

"Wait!" Kaoru hissed. "What about Ryota?"

"He's already at work," she said quickly. Then she slipped out of the room.

Kaoru turned, shoved his socks on, and bounded to the bathroom and wrenched open the bottle. He began applying the fluid liquid to the bruises on his arms and around his wounds. His heart pounded. From downstairs, Kaoru heard the front door open and the muffled exchange of the two women. Kaoru scraped the rest of makeup down his bruises before capping off the make-up and shoving it into a random drawer.

"Kaoru!" Emi called up the stairs. "We have a visitor!" Her voice sounded strong but Kaoru knew that she must be overwhelmed by fear.

Kaoru tugged his sleeves down over his wounds, calling back, "Coming!" He took one last glance at himself in the mirror, inspecting for anything out of place. He cursed silently as he raked his fingers through his hair. He hadn't enough time for a shower and his eyes looked extremely tired from staying up so late with Haruhi. Then soon after, Kaoru shot down the stairs, caking on his best smile.

"Hello, Kaoru," the petite woman greeted at the bottom stairs. Emi stood beside her, worrying her lips with her teeth.

"Hey, Lena," Kaoru greeted enthusiastically, feeling the blood rush through his veins.

"Am I interrupting your morning routine at all?"

Kaoru shook his head. "No, I was just going to grab a bowl of cereal and then head out to the bus." He looked pointedly over at Emi. "And Emi, you were just going to work, weren't you?"

She looked at her adopted son with wide eyes but then looked over to Lena with a gentle smile. "Sorry, I've got to get to work early this morning."

Lena nodded. "That's alright. That gives me time to talk to Kaoru in private before he heads out to school." When Lena turned away, Emi pressed a finger to her lips. Kaoru immediately understood; she was telling him to not say a word about their problems. Well, it wasn't like Kaoru was going to tell Lena anything about that anyway.

"Come on," Kaoru said, gesturing to Lena. "Let's get out of Emi's hair." Then he turned and led the way into the kitchen. Behind him, he could hear Emi grabbing her keys and exiting the house much earlier than she had to. Kaoru was glad; he could lie a lot easier one-on-one with Lena.

Kaoru moved into the center of the kitchen to the fridge and grabbed the milk from inside and then a random box of cereal. He dumped his cereal into a bowl, all the while feeling Lena watching him. When he moved to a chair and began to eat his breakfast, Lena moved to sit next to him quietly. She observed him silently for a moment.

"How are you faring, Kaoru?"

He set his spoon into his cereal and shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"Are you having any problems, at home or at school?"

Kaoru shook his head, looking her in the eyes. "No, not really," he began. He shrugged again. "I started my counselor sessions with Hikaru and its okay, I guess… I just still miss my parents and I miss being around Hikaru." He was mostly inputting this information to deter any of Lena's suspicions, but it was the truth regardless.

"Yes, I predicted this, of course, but it will get better. And you do see your brother often, right?"

Kaoru nodded. "Yeah, but not as often as I would like… I'm feeling distant from him." Kaoru felt a blanket of sadness fall over him. They had been distant from each other but it was entirely his fault. Hikaru had nothing to do with this gap.

"You have to be more open with Hikaru, then," Lena reasoned. "Have you been expressing your issues to Emi and Ryota?"

Kaoru shrugged. "I guess not."

"Then you should do the same for them. The only way for things to get better, is to let people in." She tapped her lip with a finger. "Speaking of which, had you made some new friends yet?"

Kaoru smiled. "Yeah. I've got Haruhi, Kyoya, and Tamaki," he said. Kaoru wasn't exactly sure if they were truly friends yet, but he a point to prove to Lena. He wanted to prove to her that he wasn't helpless. "And I'm hoping that Mori and Honey can come up to visit soon."

She nodded and frowned. But, before she could say anything more, Kaoru hopped from his seat. "I really should be getting to the bus stop," Kaoru said. "I'll be late."

"Oh," she said, looking up at the kitchen clock. She seemed a bit disappointed. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it."

* * *

Kaoru was relieved that he had gotten Lena to leave so early but he was also annoyed that he was standing at the bus stop ten minutes early without a shower. He didn't look horrible, he supposed, but he just felt gross.

"Kaoru!" a voice called from behind him.

He turned in surprise to find Haruhi running up to him with her hair a bit messy. "You're early," Kaoru observed.

"Well, I saw you outside my window at the bus stop and I wanted to make sure everything was okay," she said, her eyes full of worry.

Kaoru glared at her weakly. "You're not going to start babying me now, are you? Because I _will _hurt you."

She laughed. "I have a right to be worried; especially after your stunt last night." She tucked brown locks of hair behind her ear before looking at him seriously. "Now spill. What happened?"

He sighed. He wasn't sure how she did it, reading him so easily. "My social worker showed up today."

"Did you tell her?"

Kaoru's eyes snapped up to hers. "What? No! Why the hell would I do that?"

Haruhi frowned at him. "Well, you could have gotten this all over with…"

"I already told you, I can't do that!" he exclaimed. Anger was boiling within him and he turned away.

Suddenly Haruhi reached up to Kaoru's cheek. Kaoru knocked her arm away. "What are you doing?"

"You've got something there on your…" She moved her hand up again and smudged away whatever was along his jaw line. "Kaoru, why were you wearing makeup?" Haruhi was looking at her fingers where she had just wiped a bit of it.

"Ah, no reason." He couldn't tell her about the bruises. Kaoru must have gotten some on his face by accident.

Haruhi laughed quietly. "Shut up!" Kaoru cried, punching her in the arm playfully.

* * *

On the bus, Hikaru made his way to the back where he saw Kaoru and Haruhi sitting together on the same seat. Kaoru was staring out the window with an annoyed expression on his face and Haruhi was sitting next to him, talking to him, looking somewhat worried. Hikaru moved towards them a little faster.

"Hey guys," Hikaru greeted as he plopped down in the seat in front of them. There was some kid sitting in the seat across from them for some reason, which made no sense because there was hardly anyone on the bus.

Haruhi looked up and an unreadable look flashed across her face before disappearing. She slowly removed a hand from Kaoru's elbow. Hikaru began to wonder what had gone on between them when he wasn't around. "Hey Hikaru," she said slowly with a half-smile.

"Is everything okay?" Hikaru asked. He looked directly at Haruhi, counting on her to tell him anything he needed to know, but she looked down at her lap and fiddled with her backpack. He looked to Kaoru and his brother only glanced at him briefly through the corner of his eyes. Something was definitely up. "Okay, start talking," Hikaru commanded Kaoru.

Kaoru looked up in exasperation. "Why do you always assume something is wrong?"

"Because there always is!" Hikaru said carelessly.

Kaoru didn't reply. He only glared at Hikaru before turning back to his window while Haruhi glared at Hikaru with equal strength. "Kaoru is just having a hard time, okay Hikaru? Just give him some space," Haruhi growled at him.

Hikaru was completely taken aback. Haruhi was telling _him _to stop bothering_ his_ brother? Since when were they closer than he and Kaoru? "Kaoru, what's going on?" he asked forcefully.

Briefly, Kaoru glowered at Haruhi before saying a low, "Nothing."

"God damn it, you never tell me anything anymore!"

"Fine," Kaoru said, crossing his arms. "The other day, the counselor accused me of cutting myself and having suicidal thoughts. There. Are you happy?"

Hikaru stared. "Why would she do that?"

Kaoru rolled his eyes. "I don't know. She's crazy."

The bus came to a stop and Haruhi and Kaoru stood before Hikaru. He was forced to follow his brother onto the school grounds. He wanted to talk to Kaoru; he wanted to be like they use to be. They used to tell each other everything!

"Hold on, Kaoru!" Hikaru said, grabbing Kaoru's wrist to hold him back.

Kaoru waved Haruhi ahead. "What is it?" he asked tiredly. Hikaru took in Kaoru's unkept hair and there were dark, tired circles around the boy's eyes.

"Why do you think I need something? Can't I just talk to my brother?"

A flash of hurt crossed Kaoru's face. "No, we can just talk," Kaoru said.

"Then how come we don't talk more often?" Hikaru asked. "Why aren't we always at each other's houses all the time, playing video games or getting into trouble like we used to?"

Kaoru looked pained. "We can still do that stuff together, Hikaru, but we can't do it all the time. Things aren't the same anymore."

"I know they aren't, Kaoru, but I want my brother back…" he trailed off, feeling overwhelmed. "I want you to tell me things."

"I tell you things."

"No." Hikaru shook his head. "No, you told Haruhi something that you won't tell me."

Kaoru looked alarm and right then Hikaru knew that he was right. "No, I didn't. Don't accuse me of things you know nothing about!" And then Kaoru was marching away angrily.

"I don't know because you won't tell me!" Hikaru yelled after his brother. He tightened his hands into fists. "I'll find out eventually!" But Kaoru kept walking.

* * *

**Ha, obviously Hikaru doesn't know how to handle these situations. I wonder how he will find out about Kaoru's issues? *laughs evilly into the night***


	23. Chapter 23

The bell rang overhead and Kaoru looked blearily up from his text book. He had fallen asleep in his hand, effectively hiding it from the teacher. But as he began to shuffle his books into his bag, he regretted his nap. It had made him even more tired.

Around him, the other students stood quickly and escaped to their fourth period classes. Kaoru moved a little quicker. This was his least favorite class, history.

"Kaoru," the teacher called out.

Kaoru looked up, frowning. Sadly, he did not remember the man's name. He hadn't paid attention to anything in the class and the teacher was a rather unremarkable man. "Yeah?" Kaoru said, shoving his notebook into his bag haphazardly.

The man eyed all of the students as they left, waiting until they were completely alone. "I wanted to talk to you about your grades."

Kaoru was in the process in zipping up his bag and he froze. "My grades?" Back in middle school he had been a top student, almost number one in their class. High school hadn't been any different until now. He wondered what place he held now.

"Yes," he replied. "Why don't you come up and sit near my desk?" The teacher crooked his head.

Leaving his bag behind, Kaoru wove his way up the empty rows to the front of the room. When he reached the teacher's desk Kaoru glanced down, looking for a name plate. He didn't see one. Instead, he glanced up at his teacher and tried to remember the name on his schedule, but for the life of him, he couldn't.

"Please. Have a seat," the man said, gesturing to a desk in the front row.

Kaoru complied immediately, sitting in the cold metal seat, and stared up at him. For the first time, Kaoru actually looked at his teacher. The man was mid-aged with the barest of wrinkles and he wore his brown hair stylishly slicked back. He wore an easy smile as he regarded Kaoru, rounding the desk to lean against it.

"What's this about?" Kaoru questioned. He didn't have all day.

"I think you should know what this about Mr. Hitachiin."

Kaoru shrugged and averted his eyes. He didn't know what the guy was trying to get at.

The teacher leaned in, narrowing his eyes. "Your homework? You haven't been turning it in?"

His eyes snapped to his teacher in an instant at that remark. "What homework?"

The teacher sighed heavily. "You need to start turning in your homework from here on out if you want to pass this class," he continued. "I know that you had excellent grades in your last school, but this will not keep you afloat if you continue like this. Have you even started studying for the test tomorrow?"

Kaoru suddenly felt very heavy, like his insides were sinking. He smiled sheepishly. "What is it on?"

"You need to start working, Kaoru," the teacher said kindly. He turned to his desk and grabbed a sheet of paper from a stack and passed it to Kaoru. "Here is the study guide. I suggest that you take a long look at it tonight, or I may have to call your parents."

"They're not my parents," Kaoru murmured.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, sir. May I go now?" Kaoru asked, standing.

"Let me write you a pass."

* * *

Kaoru was heading to lunch after fourth period holding that study guide in his tight grip. He had scanned the topics and vocab words and they were… He sighed. At least he'd studied ancient Egypt before. Maybe that prior knowledge would help him skate by.

"What do you have there?" Haruhi asked, suddenly appearing beside him.

"It's my study guide for tomorrow's history test," Kaoru replied, not taking his eyes off the page. He was going to have to fill out the definitions for the vocab later. He glanced at Haruhi and she had her pity eyes on again. "Don't look at me like that, I'm fine!"

"Why are you fine?"

Kaoru whirled on his feet to face his brother, who had just about scared the crap out of him. "Uh," Kaoru said unintelligently.

"Kaoru has one of Suoh's big history tests tomorrow," Haruhi answered for Kaoru.

Hikaru looked up, wide-eyed. "Suoh? You mean like-?"

"Hey, did I hear my name?" Tamaki popped into their group, slinging his arm over Haruhi's shoulders. Haruhi absolutely seethed, but she did not remove the idiot's arm.

"Wait," Kaoru said, holding up his hands and gesturing to Tamaki with his study guide. "Is your dad a teacher here?"

"Well of course!" Tamaki beamed. "He's the first year World History teacher!"

"I had him first semester and it was absolute torture," Haruhi said flatly.

Tamaki hooked Haruhi in his arm a little closer. "Oh come on, Haruhi! My father is a great teacher! How could you say such evil things about him?"

"Only because he daily asked me if were dating yet!" Haruhi hollered, throwing herself out of his arms.

Kaoru grew frustrated. "So is Suoh a hard teacher or not? I need this test to go well if I want to pass!"

"You're failing a class, Kaoru?" Hikaru interrupted, clearly concerned.

"You are not the only one who gets to be stupid!" Kaoru growled out. He felt horrible almost instantly and his face heated in pure horror. "Sorry." Then he turned on his heel, not sparing Hikaru another glance and stomped down the hallway from where he had come.

Hikaru stared off after his brother, open-mouthed. He didn't know how to approach Kaoru, how to talk to him, and that was a thought that was scary enough by its self. He used to know Kaoru like he knew his self.

He glanced at his two friends who looked just as bewildered as he did. "Touchy…" Tamaki said, watching Kaoru turn the hallway corner.

Haruhi blinked slowly. "Maybe someone should-"

"I'll go," Hikaru said quickly. "I'll catch you guys up."

They nodded and Hikaru rushed through the oncoming crowd after where he had seen Kaoru disappeared. He pushed his way past some second years to the next hallway and looked around. He didn't see Kaoru.

* * *

Tamaki peered after Hikaru, biting his lip, and shoved his hands into his pockets. He didn't see what the big deal was. He'd gotten extremely low grades in his life time, but he'd overcome them. Grades were easy to fix if you put the work into it. It's not like Kaoru had anything to worry about otherwise. Kaoru wasn't going to be in tomorrow's game, so it wasn't like he should stress out.

"Poor Kaoru," Haruhi murmured beside him.

Tamaki casted her a frown. "It's just a test."

"Well, you don't know about all of the crap he has gone through," Haruhi retorted, looking at him with anger in her dark eyes.

"Like what?"

Haruhi's eyes widened before she sighed. "It's not mine to tell. Let's just go to lunch." She stalked off, leaving Tamaki with itching curiosity.

* * *

"Kaoru?" Hikaru called as he opened the men's room door. He hated public bathrooms. They always smelled like shit. "Ya in here?"

He opened the door a little further and found an empty room except for Kyoya who was leaning casually against one of the white standard sinks. "Kyoya, have you seen Kaoru?"

Kyoya looked up at him, fixed his glasses, and then pointed silently at the green stall on the end. Then he leaned back again and folded his arms, watching Hikaru.

Hikaru walked into the silent bathroom, letting the door close with a reverberating slam. His steps echoed across the cement floor to the stall. He glanced once at Kyoya over his shoulder before turning to the stall. "Kaoru?"

"I'm fine, Hikaru," came the quiet reply.

"You're obviously not." Hikaru could his brother shift in the stall but there was no other noise. "Do you need help studying? I have the same test tomorrow you know."

"I'll be fine."

Hikaru glared at the door. "Will you come out here and talk to me?"

There was a settling silence that followed. Hikaru just wanted to rip that stupid door open and knock some sense into Kaoru. His hands clenched into fists.

"I believe that he just wants to be left alone," Kyoya said matter-of-factly from his corner.

Hikaru whipped around to face him. "I don't know why people are acting like they know my brother better than me, but it is pissing me off! Why don't you go to lunch or something? You don't need to lurk there!"

Kyoya gave Hikaru a withering glare before pushing off the sink and stalking out. The door opened and closed quickly, letting in only a slice of noise from the hallway. Hikaru turned back to Kaoru's door in the silence.

"You didn't have to do that," Kaoru said quietly. "He was just trying to help."

"I'm trying to help!" Hikaru exploded. "I'm right here. Hello! You can talk to me! Just let me in, that's all I ask. You can tell me what's bugging you, even if it's me. We're brothers and we are supposed to work these things out just like we use to when we were kids when we used to tell each other _everything!_" His rant ended on a desperate note.

"You're not."

Hikaru stared dubiously at the bathroom stall. "What?"

"You're not bugging me. What's bugging me is my own stupidity…"

Hikaru rubbed his arm. "You're not stupid."

"I didn't even turn in any my homework! I didn't know I had any. What kind of idiot does that?"

Hikaru felt a pang in his chest as heard the sadness in his brother's words. "It's definitely not like you, but that doesn't make you stupid. You are the smartest person I know."

Kaoru sighed inside the stall and suddenly he was unlocking the stall door, emerging slowly. To Hikaru, Kaoru looked pale and extremely unhappy. It was nothing like the normal Kaoru. He smiled unenthusiastically. "Sorry for dumping all of this on you. My head's just a little messed up lately."

"Don't be sorry," Hikaru said, frowning. "You should actually be doing it more often. I feel way out of the loop when it comes to stuff going on in your life."

At that Kaoru laughed. "It does seem that way, doesn't it?"

Hikaru went on impulse and pulled his brother into a familiar hug; it was one that hadn't been shared in a while but it was much needed. At first Kaoru stiffened, but after a few seconds he hugged back. "Okay, ugly," Hikaru joked. "Let's go to lunch."

* * *

After school, Kaoru found his self being dragged to his second therapy session with the counselor and he was less than enthusiastic. "I wish we could just skip," Hikaru said aloud, as if he were reading Kaoru's mind. Kaoru wanted to agree but he knew that these sessions would be needed, no matter how painful they were.

They reached the door and Hikaru was the one to open it, revealing a smiling Nana. Kaoru's mood immediately darkened. "Hello!" the woman called out, gesturing to their seats.

"Hi," the twins said simultaneously as they settled into the chairs.

"How have things been in the last two days?" she asked casually.

Kaoru could feel Hikaru's gaze on him but he refused to flinch. He smiled his best at the counselor and said, "Pretty good, I would say."

"We both have a history exam tomorrow that we are worried about, but other than that, things have been pretty much the same," Hikaru piped up beside Kaoru.

Kaoru glanced at his brother, looking for any hidden agenda, but Hikaru wasn't looking at him. Hikaru leaned back into his chair and sighed. "Though I'm bummed that we can't compete in the soccer tourney tomorrow. But hopefully coach will put us in next Friday. The season is finishing up and I don't want the bench for every single one."

Kaoru sat up a little straighter, interested. He'd forgotten that the championships were coming up. He would, like his brother, love to be in the finals. "Is the coach considering us?"

Hikaru glanced at him but shrugged. "We'll just have to prove to him at next practice."

"Do you boys have any plans for the summer?" Nana questioned, directing the attention back at her.

"We might get a job down at the amusement park," Hikaru said.

That's when Kaoru started to tune out.

* * *

Once again, Kaoru had been quiet through their session and Hikaru was a little disappointed. He had been hoping that Kaoru would open up and explain a bit more about what was bugging him. And he was even more disappointed when Nana declared, "We can wrap this up for today."

Hikaru sighed. He stood, grabbing his bag and swinging it over his shoulder.

"Hikaru, could you stay back?"

He looked up, surprised. "Sure," he said.

"I'll see you later," Kaoru said quickly before ducked out of the office.

Hikaru snorted, calling after his brother, "This is a betrayal I will not forget, Kaoru!" He grinned to himself as turned back to Nana. "So what's up?"

Nana leaned forward with a comforting smile. "I just want to know how everything is going."

"Well, Kaoru has been-"

"No," Nana interrupted. "I want to know about you."

Hikaru looked at her in confusion. "I just talked about myself for, like, twenty minutes straight."

"But you didn't talk about _your _emotions, _your _problems. How are you dealing with your parents' death?"

Hikaru looked off to the side of the room briefly before turning back to her, now serious. "I haven't been dealing with it. I'm fine."

She looked at him steadily. "You can't bottle these things up, Hikaru. You have to let your brother know that you are hurting just as much as him, and maybe he will open up to you."

Now Hikaru was definitely confused. "I didn't know I was hurting anymore… I thought I got past it."

"And how did you do that?"

Hikaru frowned, thinking back. "I talked to my adoptive parents about it a bit. That was dealing with it, wasn't it?"

Nana gave him a sad look and pursed her lips. "We'll just pick this up next week."

Hikaru left the office feeling somewhat disoriented. Nana didn't know what she was talking about.

* * *

**Good lord, I am so late on the update! Over two weeks? *huffs* Well, sorry about the choppy chapter but things should definitely pick up again in the next chapter!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Interlude: Kyoya**

Kyoya woke up that day weary and drained. Father had worked him hard at the store last night, keeping him there almost to closing time. Afterwards, Kyoya worked on his homework until early hours of the morning before retiring to bed.

Glancing at his clock now, he concluded that he had only received four, maybe five, hours of sleep. He sighed, switching off his alarm, and continued with his morning routine.

His mother wasn't around much, which was fine, because when she did come home from business meetings, the family congregated together for a home-cooked dinner. But this left a lot of time alone with Kyoya's father, who worked his children to the bone. He often reminded Kyoya that school wasn't very important. What was important to his father was his business that he had raised from the ground. It was a small line of convenience stores in Ouran. They only had two stores open, but his father planned on expanding.

Kyoya resented his family for their eager involvement in his father's business. He wanted to go to college and make something of himself, but his family was convinced that Kyoya would take over as a manager at one of the stores when he graduated.

His two brothers managed one store together, splitting the profits with his father. His sister and her husband were involved in the store Kyoya worked in after school. None of his siblings had ever gone to college. If Kyoya went, he would be the first of his family. But… he hid his college applications.

"Kyoya, are you done in there yet?" Fuyumi called through the bathroom door as Kyoya set to dry himself off from the shower.

"Why don't you use the bathroom in your own house?" Kyoya replied, annoyed. She did live just down the road, afterall.

She huffed. "Don't be such a spoil sport! Besides, who else is going to make our youngest brother breakfast?"

He quickly discarded the towel and pulled on his clothes hurriedly. Then he swung open the door to reveal Fuyumi with a wide grin on her face. "Must you pester me so early in the morning?" Kyoya said, moving to go around her.

"I made omelets!" she called after him.

Down in the kitchen, Kyoya scooped out a thin omelet and took his place at the kitchen table, near his father. Father was currently reading the paper, with his legs crossed. Neither said a word. Father just read and Kyoya attended to his breakfast.

But it wasn't long until his father stood abruptly and tucked the paper under his arm. "See you at your shift tonight," Father said monotonously. "Don't be late."

Kyoya resisted the urge to roll his eyes. As if he was ever late. Instead, he continued to eat his omelet, not speaking a word.

It wasn't until Kyoya was washing his dishes when Fuyumi reappeared in the kitchen. "Did father leave already?" she asked, looking around.

Kyoya nodded and continued scraping out the pan Fuyumi had used for cooking.

Fuyumi crossed the room and dropped something down on the counter next to Kyoya, snapping his attention away from his washing. "You were in my room?" he snapped, reddening. Those were the stack of his college applications.

"You're thinking of applying to all of these places?" Fuyumi questioned, frowning.

Kyoya took a moment to think over his words carefully before replying, "Tamaki keeps saying that we are going to room together at college… But graduation isn't till next year and I just wanted to keep my options open…" He trailed off when she smiled.

"I think this is a good thing, Kyoya," she said happily. "Doing your own thing is fine. I kind of wish I went and found out what I really wanted in life. You just have to be careful of Father. I wouldn't tell him until you knew for sure what you were going to do."

Kyoya dried his hands and nodded. "Could you just put those away? I've got to go to school."

"Just know that I support you, okay?" Fuyumi said, scooping up the applications again and exited the kitchen.

* * *

Kyoya walked to school in a daze, not paying attention to any of the bustling students around him. His mind was still stuck on those applications. Perhaps he would talk about it with Tamaki later. He grimaced at the thought, only imagining what kind of advice the idiot would give him.

"Kyoya!" Haruhi almost hollered in his ear, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He turned his gaze on the girl, fixing his glasses. "What is it?"

She gave a warm smile but she also wore a serious gaze. "You have to meet up with me after school," she said evenly.

Kyoya's eyebrows furrowed. "Why?" If Haruhi wanted to hang out, Tamaki was usually involved in there somewhere.

She leaned forward, glancing around the hallway. "We have to talk with Kaoru." Her eyes snapped to his. "He almost told you something yesterday? Well, today, he wants to make it clear for you."

"Ah, that," Kyoya said, thinking back. Kaoru had been skittish on the bleachers, saying things like how he was a punching bag… Kyoya's interested were piqued.

"I'm not sure when we'll meet," Haruhi continued, "but this is really important. We have to help Kaoru somehow but he made me swear that I wouldn't tell anyone but you."

Several scenarios ran through Kyoya's mind of what could be wrong. "What's wrong with Kaoru?"

"You'll have to wait till after school. I'll text you when Kaoru wants to talk about it, okay? Don't tell Tamaki a word of this, got it?"

Kyoya nodded.

* * *

It was before lunch and Kyoya was heading in the direction of the cafeteria, but he wasn't really in the mood to eat the school's mush. Perhaps he would head to the library instead and study a bit for the upcoming finals. After all, they were only three weeks away.

He was just deciding what subject to prepare for when someone bumped into him hard. Immediately, Kyoya recognized the shock of orange hair and the clothes that indicated that this was Kaoru. The two brothers wore distinctive styles that made them easy to pick out. Mostly, Kaoru tended to wear more long sleeves than his brother.

"Sorry," Kaoru murmured, backing away and not looking at Kyoya. His eyes were clouded, troubled.

"Are you okay, Kaoru?" Kyoya asked tentatively. It was as if he could feel the waves of pain and worry off of Kaoru. Kyoya couldn't help but be concerned.

Kaoru's eyes flashed up to his and then away again. "I-I just need to go to the bathroom," Kaoru stammered before disappearing around Kyoya and down the hall.

Not hesitating, Kyoya followed his friend into the nearest bathroom and watched as he went into a stall, locking himself inside. There were freshmen students standing by the sinks, looking at Kaoru's stall curiously. Kyoya casted a dark glare at the students. "Get out," he commanded to the underclassmen and they raced out of the room instantly.

Kyoya could hear Kaoru breathing deeply inside of the green stall, indicating to Kyoya that he was trying to calm himself down from something. After a moment, Kaoru spoke. "Did Haruhi tell you?" He sounded almost fearful.

"No," Kyoya said. "But she said the three of us will meet after school."

"Please don't tell Hikaru," came Kaoru's quiet, desperate reply.

"Kaoru?" a voice interrupted them, and they both silenced. Kyoya looked over at the door until it opened fully and Hikaru entered the bathroom, looking around. He spotted Kyoya. "Kyoya, have you seen Kaoru?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose, catching Hikaru in a scrutinizing gaze, before pointing at the stall directing in front of him. He wondered, why didn't Kaoru want his brother to know anything? He leaned back against the sinks and watched Hikaru with folded arms as Hikaru allowed the door to slam. He gave Kyoya a weird look before turning to the stall. "Kaoru?"

"I'm fine, Hikaru," came the quiet reply.

"You're obviously not. Do you need help studying? I have the same test tomorrow you know," Hikaru said loudly. Kyoya frowned at the boy. What was it about studying? Surely that wasn't the thing that was upsetting Kaoru. Haruhi wouldn't be so worried if it was.

"I'll be fine."

Hikaru didn't relent. "Will you come out here and talk to me?"

Everything went silent and even Kyoya felt uncomfortable in the tension settling. He was sure that Kaoru did not want to be speaking to his brother.

"I believe that he just wants to be left alone," Kyoya inputted, trying to help Kaoru out.

Hikaru whipped around to face him. "I don't know why people are acting like they know my brother better than me, but it is pissing me off! Why don't you go to lunch or something? You don't need to lurk there!"

Kyoya glared. Whatever. He walked out, seething.

* * *

Kyoya answered his phone discreetly behind the counter of his father's convenience store, keeping an out for Father. He was sure that Father would be in the back room for a while. He hoped he wouldn't be caught. "What do you need?"

"Kaoru told me when to meet. Let's meet at midnight at my house. You can park on the street and Kaoru and I will come to meet you," Haruhi said.

"Midnight?" Kyoya exclaimed, thinking about the things he could be studying for at that time. His father would not be happy to catch him out at that time either.

"Come on, Kyoya," she whined. "That's the time Kaoru told me!"

Kyoya pressed a hand to his forehead but relented, thinking of Kaoru. "Fine, I'll be there."

"Good, don't be late," she said happily, before hanging up.

Pocketing his phone, Kyoya frowned. Why was it that everyone thought he would be late?

* * *

**Just a little of Kyoya's point of view for you. Next chapter is back to Kaoru!**


	25. Chapter 25

Kaoru didn't bother waiting for anyone as he left the school, trotting down the stairs two at a time. He wasn't going to bother trying to get a ride with anyone. He had decided that he was just going to walk home and stew things out.

"Kaoru!" Haruhi called, running up to him as he reached the bottom of the stairs. She didn't waste any time getting to the point. "What time should we meet up with Kyoya tonight?"

Kaoru sighed. "Do we have to?"

Haruhi scrunched up her face angrily. "What time?"

"Same as last night," Kaoru said shortly and began walking again with hunched shoulders.

"That doesn't tell me anything!" She followed him, keeping his fast pace easily. "I don't even remember what time we went out last night."

Kaoru rubbed his hand across his forehead in frustration. "Let's just make it midnight."

"Great!" she said, giving him a playful punch to the arm. "I'll go tell Kyoya! See you tonight!"

"You do that," Kaoru muttered under his breath, watching her sprint away. She was too nosy for her own good.

* * *

He arrived at home in a dismal mood. All Kaoru could think about was his damned test he had to study for. But how would he be able to study when in the back of his mind, all he would be thinking about was his meeting with Kyoya and Haruhi? Damn it all! Couldn't everyone just mind their own business?

Kaoru shoved his key into the lock and struggled it open. Inside, Kaoru dropped his bag by the entrance and kicked off his shoes. "I'm home!" Kaoru called, not expecting a response.

But that's when he heard it. It was a soft whimpering coming from upstairs that sounded so _pained_ that it stopped Kaoru in his tracks. His heart thudded in his chest. "Emi," he whispered.

Suddenly, he took off running, up the stairs in a flash to the source of the whimpering in the bathroom. "Emi?" he called out, rounding into the bathroom. He stopped frozen.

Emi was on the ground of the bathroom, but she wasn't the one whimpering. She was holding a crying and moaning Ryota who was struggling against her small arms. Kaoru paled at the sight. "What's-?"

Emi's head shot up. Her eyes were streaked with tears that ran with her makeup and she looked terrified. "He-he's having a fit!" Emi said desperately.

Ryota struggled hard and Emi was jostled harshly. She groaned in determination and slammed him back, hard, against the base of the tub. "He needs his medication!"

"No, no, no, no, no! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Ryota screamed, thrashing.

Kaoru flew to the cabinet, feeling his heart pound hard in his chest, and ripped open the small door to reveal the bottles lined up on each shelf. He shoved bottles aside, looking desperately for Ryota's medication. "What does it look like?" Kaoru said in panic as Ryota pushed Emi violently. His shaking hands knocked bottles into the sink with a hard crash. Ryota moaned at the loud noise.

Emi attempted to shush him before turning to Kaoru. "Top shelf! It's an orange bottle."

Kaoru grabbed several bottles from the top shelf and brought them over to Emi. "I don't know which one it is!"

Emi attempted to take a bottle from Kaoru, moving her hand for only a second from Ryota's body, before he pushed her. Her head smacked with a loud clash against the tiles. She gasped but threw her hand back onto Ryota's shoulder to restrain him. "Kaoru you have to give it to him! I can't move my hands."

"Which bottle is it?" Kaoru asked shakily, moving the bottles in her eye line.

Ryota bucked wildly, nearly knocking the bottles from Kaoru's hands. "The first one in your left hand! Quickly!"

Kaoru dropped the other bottles into the tub and Kaoru unwound the top with shaky hands. "How many?" he asked as he poured almost half the bottle into his hand.

"NO!" Ryota roared. He jerked his knee upwards, knocking Kaoru's hand upwards, sending the pills flying all over the bathroom.

"Damn it!" Kaoru leaned back, pouring more into his now empty hand.

"Two, Kaoru. Two." Emi said urgently. She dug her hands into Ryota's side, turning her knuckles white.

Kaoru poured the rest back into the bottle until he was holding only two. He approached Ryota wearily. "No, don't do this to me!" Ryota cried out, blind to anything that was happening around him. "_PLEASE!"_ It was the most pitiful and frightened scream Kaoru had ever heard come from Ryota and Kaoru almost felt bad.

Quickly, Kaoru hardened his resolve and went to the opposite side of Emi and held down his right arm. Ryota thrashed, ripping his hand from Kaoru's grasp, and nearly clobbered Kaoru with his arm. Kaoru growled and pushed the arm back and pinned it against the tub wall. "Sit still," Kaoru hissed, clenching the pills. He used his weight to hold Ryota's arm and used his arms to wrench at Ryota's mouth. "Come on, open up."

That's when Ryota bit him. Hard. Kaoru jumped back with a yelp. He looked down at his hand and was grateful that it was only red and throbbing at the tip of his fingers. Kaoru turned back to his guardian and glared. "I guess we are doing this the hard way," Kaoru hissed.

Still pinning Ryota's arm beneath him, Kaoru used one hand to plug Ryota's nose, blocking off his air flow. Ryota was forced to open his mouth. "Easy does it," Kaoru said in absolute concentration as he dropped the pills into Ryota's open mouth. He barely avoided another snap of Ryota's teeth.

"Water," Emi said, passing a glass that Kaoru had not noticed sitting on the toilet.

Kaoru grabbed the plastic glass and poured the contents haphazardly into Ryota's mouth and all over his face and down his shirt. "Swallow!" Kaoru murmured forcefully, and Ryota did. But he did _not_ like it.

Ryota screeched out, thrashing hard than ever, and Kaoru found he was having a hard time keeping Ryota in place. In a last ditch effort, Kaoru grabbed the metal waste basket and swung. A loud clang echoed through the bathroom and then silence.

Ryota went limp against Kaoru and slowly, he put the waste basket down, feeling only slightly guilty about the red mark growing across Ryota's forehead. Kaoru let his breath and looked at Emi.

"Thank you," Emi whispered, pulling her hands off her husband. Her face was drawn into complete worry as she smoother his shirt. "He'll be okay now. Thank you."

Kaoru didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. He just removed his self from the bathroom quietly, leaving Emi to whisper soft words to Ryota.

* * *

Kaoru was trying. He was! But the words blurred before his eyes as he tried to read his review sheet. He blinked sharply before looking back down at the sheet. He read the first few definitions again before he realized that, once again, none of it was sticking. The anger in Kaoru boiled over and cried out and he pushed everything off his bed harshly. It all clattered to the ground, falling into a disorganized pile.

Sitting there, breathing hard, Kaoru glared at his textbook that laid bent over the crumpled papers. Kaoru gritted his teeth and threw himself off his bed and dropped to his knees beside the fallen papers. He gathered them all up, one by one, into a disorganized pile before shoving it all onto his dresser.

He glanced at the clock. It was near eleven and Kaoru had wasted his whole evening not learning a damn thing for the test. Whatever, good enough. He stood angrily and crossed his room and wrenched his door open. He sauntered down the hall and poked his head into Emi and Ryota's room. Emi was pressing a cold cloth onto a sleeping Ryota's forehead. "I'm going out," Kaoru said shortly.

She didn't even look up and nodded distractedly. Kaoru took that as permission and trailed downstairs and to the door. That's when Emi realized what she had agreed to and she appeared at the top of the banister. "Wait, Kaoru! You can't just go-"

Kaoru was out the door, cutting off her words. The night was clear and warm just like the past few nights. The familiarity of it lightened Kaoru's mood but not by much.

He walked down the quiet, dark road and stopped on the outside of Haruhi's house, glancing up at her window. Her light was on but Kaoru couldn't see her. But suddenly, the weight of everything came crashing down on Kaoru and he felt crushed. He wanted… No, he _needed_ to talk to Haruhi, even if it was just about trivial things. He needed to feel that he was normal; he needed Haruhi to tell him that he was easily fixed. Because right now, it felt like Kaoru was starting to lose a part of him that he might not get back.

Suddenly, Kaoru caught movement in the window and Haruhi was there, staring out the window at him. Kaoru attempted to give her a shaky smile but it was an utter fail. So he just looked away and started walking away. He knew that Haruhi and Kyoya wouldn't be far behind.

* * *

**Next is the reveal to Kyoya!**


	26. Chapter 26

It was too much! Everything was getting too much! Kaoru was seething by the time he arrived to the park and he curled his fingers into fists instinctively. His thoughts stormed his mind and he couldn't make sense of it all but he felt sick to his stomach.

Stepping onto the crisp woodchips, Kaoru crunched his way across the park and away from the single street lamp. He bypassed the swings and opted for the slide that towered over the other structures. The metal shimmered in the dim light and was cold to the touch as Kaoru began his ascent up the ladder. His feet clinked against the steps until he reached the top, and when he did, he paused and just stood at the precipice, staring around the dark playground.

"Out of control," he muttered to himself, clutching the railing. Everything, _everything, _was out of his reach and he controlled nothing. It was crushing.

Letting out a shaky breath, Kaoru sunk down on the slide, sitting at the top but not sliding down. He could no longer control his education, his safety, his secrets… Kaoru just wished there was _something… _Something he could control.

Kaoru removed his hands from the railing and held them in front of him after rolling up the sleeves. His left arm held small, fading scars of the grease splatter and his left was still puckered from the knife wound. He couldn't even control what happened to his body.

Quickly, he rolled his sleeves down again, preparing for a long wait until Haruhi and Kyoya arrived.

* * *

Haruhi ran down her stairs and opened the door before Kyoya could even reach her front steps. She closed it quietly behind her before pulling on a light sweatshirt to block out the wind. "Let's go," she said, walking briskly past Kyoya to lead the way. "Kaoru left for the park like a half hour ago."

Kyoya kept her pace easily. "It's not my fault he went early."

"He looked extremely… I don't know, depressed. When I saw his face, he looked like he killed somebody."

Kyoya looked at her funny then. "He didn't, did he?"

Haruhi gaped in exasperation. "Are you serious?"

"Well the two of you are dragging me out here, telling me there is this big secret… What am I supposed to think? Kaoru mentions that's he's a punching bag and-"

"Wait, what?" Haruhi asked, alarmed.

"Hey Haruhi," a voice called, knocking her out of her thoughts.

She turned her eyes on Kyoya's car that was sitting at the curb in front her house; light reflected off its exterior and revealed a blond mop of hair of a boy leaning against it in the shadows. "What the _hell_ are you doing here?" Haruhi spat. In front of her stood a grinning Tamaki.

Kyoya's lips quirked in amusement. "He was already at my house. I couldn't get rid of him, so I just let him come along.

Haruhi turned on him. "You can't allow him to come with!" She poked him hard in the ribs. "I made a promise to Kaoru and I'm keeping it! We can't do this to him."

"What's wrong with Kaoru?" Tamaki asked, his smile faltering.

Glaring at him, Haruhi said, "You're just going to have to wait in the car, Tamaki. You can't come with."

"Who's waiting in the car? I'm not being left behind."

Kyoya turned to him in serious contemplation. "Haruhi is probably right. I don't think you should come along."

Tamaki's eyes blazed. "I'm _not _being left behind. If there is something wrong with one of my friends, I'm going to be there for them whether they want my help or not!"

Haruhi considered him in silence. His face was one of rage and so un-Tamaki-like that Haruhi couldn't help but take him serious. "Maybe…" She turned her eyes on Kyoya, unsure. "Maybe we should take him along…"

"You are the one who spoke with Kaoru. It's up to your judgment whether or not this would be a wise decision," Kyoya said.

Haruhi nodded, acknowledging his words. "Fine. Let's go."

* * *

When they arrived at the park, Haruhi was a bit worried to see the swings empty. Her eyes skimmed the jungle gym until she noticed the figure sitting motionless on the slide. "Kaoru," she hissed into the dark, trying to remain quiet but still be heard at the same time.

Kaoru's head snapped up and he turned his amber gaze on her just as Tamaki and Kyoya came to a stop behind her. His eyes flitted behind her before he glared. Haruhi could tell he was royally pissed. "I know we said that-" she began.

"You _promised,_" he said harshly. His voice was full of hurt and a hint of fear.

"I know," Haruhi said quickly. She needed to make him understand. "Tamaki was already-"

"You promised!" Kaoru said with more force. He stood abruptly so that he was towering over the three of them. "I told you that we wouldn't tell anyone else besides Kyoya!"

Haruhi looked behind her and caught the confused faces of Tamaki and Kyoya. She was at a loss for words. Tamaki's face was set in determination and before Haruhi could stop him, he began to speak up, "Kaoru, I know that you didn't exactly want me here, but I want to understand too. I want to know what's going on and figure out what I can do to help."

Kaoru looked away then. "I didn't even want help in the first place. What makes you think I want yours?" And then he was launching himself down the slide. When he reached the bottom, he turned and began stalking away.

Haruhi couldn't take it any longer. So she turned to the boys and told them, "Stay here," before racing after Kaoru's retreating form.

* * *

Kaoru's heart was racing as he walked away. He didn't want even more people to know. Maybe if he got away, maybe he never spoke to them again, maybe, just maybe he wouldn't need to-

"Kaoru," Haruhi called, "Wait." Her footsteps slapped across the woodchips until she slid to a stop behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder to Haruhi where she stood with a saddened frown. Behind her, off by the swing set, Tamaki and Kyoya were walking away, talking to each other and gesturing to the swing. Kaoru turned around fully and crossed his arms.

Haruhi looked down before addressing him. "I'm sorry I let Tamaki come along. But you should have heard his rant earlier! He was saying things about friends help friends or something like that, and I couldn't say no." She shrugged.

Kaoru felt drained; he didn't want an apology. "Whatever, it's okay," Kaoru said, rubbing his forehead. "It's just that I don't want to burden anybody. I don't want people thinking that they have to watch out for me."

"But what if we want to?"

"Why would you?"

Haruhi looked at him like he was stupid. "We're your friends and we watch out for… Well, now I sound like Tamaki." She shifted her weight before she looked him right in the eye. "Let's just put it this way. I don't want you doing something stupid because you think you're alone or that you're not good enough or some lame shit like that."

Kaoru flinched away at those words and found that he could no longer look her in the eyes.

"You're not, Kaoru!" she exclaimed as if she had read his mind. "You're good and funny and a real friend. Let people look after you."

Anger shot through Kaoru. "That's the thing though! I shouldn't be like this! Before my parents died and before everything that's happened lately, I used to be the one! I used to be the one everyone came to with their problems. I looked after Hikaru to make sure he didn't do something stupid but now, _I'm worthless!_ All I can think about is this swirling shit around me and it never goes away! That's why I don't want people to know. I just want to move on my life. I don't want people trying to take care of me because I should be able to care of myself!"

At the end of his rant, Kaoru felt something in him break. Suddenly he dropped down onto his knees with tears streaming silently down his face. The pain and the hurt were overwhelming. "Look at this," Kaoru tried to laugh through his tears. "Now I'm even crying."

Haruhi dropped to her knees beside him and said nothing. She just wrapped him into a warm embrace, holding him close as he cried through the pain that had built up over the last few weeks. Then, finally, Kaoru couldn't cry anymore and slowly pulled away from Haruhi, wiping at his face.

"You should really tell Hikaru."

"I'm _not_ telling him."

Haruhi nodded, already accepting it. "I know, but you really should. He'll be pissed if he finds out."

"He's not going to." Kaoru wasn't going to tell Hikaru any of it; not about his almost suicide in the bathroom; not about the abuse he's taken; not about Ryota's illness. He wasn't going to tell Haruhi and the others anything else either. He was just going to let her keep believing that she was helping with his depression or whatever. He was going to leave at that. No one had to know about anything else.

"But you're gonna let me tell Tamaki and Kyoya? We will make a pact not to tell anyone else and we will work through this together. The three of us will be your own little support group."

Kaoru looked at her, considering. He knew that if he let her worry anymore, she would dig deeper into his life and find out about Ryota and everything. So he knew what he had to do; he would never show weakness in front of Haruhi and the others ever again. Ever. It was the only way. "Okay."

Haruhi seemed honestly surprised at his answer but she didn't waste any time in waving Tamaki and Kyoya over. They were quick in responding.

"Is everything okay?" Tamaki asked. Kaoru stared at him in disbelief. This is the most serious he'd ever seen Tamaki act.

Haruhi nodded in answer before speaking, "Kaoru has something he has to tell you two."

"The two of you have to promise you won't breathe a word of this to another soul, got it?" Kaoru said forcefully. His nerves were all over the place.

"Of course, I promise," Tamaki replied automatically.

Kyoya was a little slower to respond, staring at Kaoru with a scrutinizing glower. After a moment he said, "I promise."

Kaoru chewed his lip and looked to Haruhi for support. She smiled sadly and gave him a little nudge.

"Uh…" Kaoru looked around their little group. His nerves were shot; he couldn't do it. "Haruhi will tell you." He looked away.

"Kaoru," Haruhi scolded. Kaoru refused to look at her so eventually she sighed deeply. "Fine, I'll just say it bluntly then." Kaoru peeked up at the three as Haruhi readied herself. "Kaoru tried to kill himself."

"WHAT? WHY?" Tamaki immediately bellowed, looking completely panicked.

Kaoru turned his eyes on Kyoya who was still looking at him suspiciously. He didn't like that look on Kyoya's face one bit.

"Tamaki, _please,_ let's not make it that big of a deal," Haruhi said.

"What do you mean? Kaoru _tried to kill himself_. What possessed him to do that?"

Kaoru flinched. This was the exact reaction Kaoru had feared and this was why he hadn't wanted to tell anyone.

"Because you are only making him feel worse!" Haruhi yelled at Tamaki.

Tamaki's eyes widened and he was next to Kaoru in a flash, looking at him in concern. "Kaoru why would you try to do something like that to yourself? You are one of the best, smartest little people I know."

"Gee, don't hurt yourself," Kaoru retorted. He couldn't help but be a little amused at Tamaki's childish description.

"What he's _trying_ to say," Kyoya butted in, silencing Tamaki, "is that we don't understand why you would attempt suicide."

Kaoru felt his blood run cold but he shrugged, trying to deflect some of the interest.

"I mean, just the other day you said that you felt like a punching bag… What does that mean exactly?" Kyoya continued.

Kaoru decided to tell a partial truth and responded immediately, "My parents just died, my grades are in the toilet, and I'm separated from my twin. Why do you think I've been so depressed? I feel like a completely worthless piece of shit."

Kyoya considered this in silence and Kaoru hoped he would take the bait. And he did! Kyoya nodded, accepting the partial truth and that's when Kaoru knew he had won. His three friends would know nothing about Ryota and his home life… It felt like crap.

Tamaki grimaced. "Kaoru, I think you're a great person who-"

"Save it," Kaoru snapped immediately. "Telling you guys about this does not entitle you to baby me or keep trying to make me feel better. All you need to do is support me. And supporting me means helping me out when I want you to, okay? Got it?"

"But…" Tamaki looked around the group. "Shouldn't we tell someone about this? Like the counselor?"

Kaoru's heart plummeted. He just turned and marched away, heading for the swings. Behind him, he heard Haruhi mutter, "Way to go, Tamaki." But he ignored them all and collapsed into his usual swing to stare at the woodchips.

His three friends arrived not long after. Haruhi sat in the same one she had the day before, to his left, and Kyoya sat to his right, leaving Tamaki to take the seat on the other side of Kyoya. They all began to swing in silence.

Suddenly Haruhi spoke up, kicking woodchips beneath her shoes, "We won't tell anyone."

"We won't, right Tamaki?" Kyoya said.

"Right," Tamaki agreed. "I promise I won't."

Kaoru swung in silence for just a few seconds longer before saying, "Thanks, guys." And he meant it.

They continued to swing higher and higher and suddenly, to Kaoru, things felt just a little bit lighter.

* * *

**I'm glad I even got to update today! I'm on vacation where there is no wifi except like a mile down the road (which I walked by the way for you lucky readers.) And also a few days ago was my birthday, so I've been busy! But hopefully, I'll be update again soon. (Maybe before my vacation is over on Sunday, but more likely Monday or Tuesday when I'm home again.)**


	27. Chapter 27

Oh God, what is this? Kaoru stared numbly at the blurred letters, trying to understand what the question was saying. His hand shook. Crap, if he didn't pass this test, things were going to get ugly. Everyone would find out what a failure he was and how bad things have gotten since his parents had died a few weeks ago…

He shook his head, causing his bangs to sweep across his face, and he rested his chin on his left hand. _Focus, Kaoru, focus. You learned all of this stuff last semester and got an A on the test! Just dig up that knowledge!_

Kaoru blinked twice, clearing his vision, and gripped his pencil a bit tighter in his palm. He read the first question once, then a second time, and then again. He looked up at the clock and was instantly relieved to find that he still had thirty minutes left of the test. Briefly, he allowed his eyes to scan across the other students. _Bad choice, Kaoru, _he thought to his self as his heart pounded even harder at the sight of other students scribbling away.

He glanced back at his own test and closed his eyes, forcing air through his lungs. If he just breathed, maybe things would make a little more sense on the test. After a few seconds of deep breathing, Kaoru sighed and opened his eyes. It still didn't make sense.

* * *

There was a cloud hanging over Kaoru's head after class. The time had drained away quickly and before he knew it the teacher had called out ten minutes remaining. That's when the panic had really set in, leaving Kaoru to fill in his sheet with guesses. Damn, he really felt like a failure.

"Kaoru! Just the man I wanted to see!" the one and only Tamaki called from down the hall.

Kaoru spun on his heels and gave an irritated glare. "What do you want?"

"How cruel!" Tamaki said dramatically as he pushed through the crowd of students to come to a stop beside Kaoru. "Not even a 'Hello' or a 'How you doing' for one of your best friends?"

Kaoru's eyebrow twitched. "Where the _hell _did you get the idea that we are best friends?"

"Well we play together on the soccer team and we both seem to really enjoy the sport and we have the same friends and we…"

Kaoru closed his eyes, tuning out Tamaki's rant with a sigh. "Tamaki."

"And then there was the thing in the park last night and since you told us that-"

"Tamaki!" Kaoru cried, completely exasperated. Quickly, Kaoru looked around the hallway, looking for anyone that could be watching. Luckily, there wasn't. "You can't just blurt these things out in public! In fact, never speak of this again to me or anyone! I will kill you if you tell a single soul, got that?"

Tamaki laughed nervously. "Wow, you don't have to be so mean, Kaoru."

"Who's being mean?" Haruhi asked, showing up suddenly behind Tamaki with Kyoya in tow.

"It's Kaoru!" Tamaki whined, turning to Haruhi. "You should punish him for being a naughty little boy!"

Kaoru reddened in indignation. "Who's being naughty?"

"I bet it's you who's being the pest here, Tamaki!" Haruhi said, pulling on Tamaki's cheek.

Looking over, Kaoru almost went into shock. Was he seeing this right? "Kyoya, are you smiling?"

Utter shock rippled over Tamaki and Haruhi, who turned instantly. "What a rare sight!" Tamaki practically shouted. "Quickly! Does anyone have a camera? We have to document this moment!"

Kyoya's smile slammed down into a dark glare. "Do you want me to _kill you?!"_

Kaoru busted out laughing, suddenly feeling light and carefree. And who could hold back laughter from the look of pure shock on Tamaki's face?

"Kaoru!"

Turning back towards the crowded hallway, Kaoru caught a glimpse of Hikaru pushing his way through some first years. "Kaoru, you would not believe what just happened!" Hikaru yelled in his ear as he slung his arm over his brother's shoulders.

Kaoru's lips twitched into an amused smile. His brother was so loud when he was excited. "What is it?"

"Honey and Mori! They're coming up for the weekend and they're staying at my house."

"What?" Kaoru asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah, and you have to stay over tonight till Sunday! Rika already said it would be alright. She didn't want me to be alone this weekend anyway." He shrugged.

Kaoru tilted his head. "Where are they going?"

Hikaru scrunched his nose, throwing his hands behind his head. "Ah, I don't really remember."

"You dunce!" Kaoru laughed, cuffing his brother over the head. "I'll ask Emi when I get home and then I'll let you know."

"We're coming too!" Tamaki said.

The two brothers turned to see all three of their friends with determined looked on their face. Haruhi crossed her arms, fixing them with her firm gaze. "And don't try to talk us out of it."

"We'll just show up anyway," Kyoya said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Hikaru looked honestly confused but he smiled. "I was going to invite you guys anyway. I'm sure you would all get along well with Honey and Mori." Hikaru's eyes widened and suddenly he was whispering something in Kaoru's ear, "Maybe we shouldn't invite them along. They might get along _too_ well."

Kaoru sniggered. "Yeah, that or they would totally scare Honey and Mori away. They might never want to visit us again!"

"Hey, we're right here! We can hear you!" Tamaki hollered.

* * *

Kaoru opened his front door, dropped his bag by the closet, and kicked off his shoes. "I'm home!" he called.

"Welcome back!" was Emi's immediate reply. She was sitting at the foot of the stairs, wearing a simple white dress and high heels. Her black hair was tied back elegantly. "Good day at school?" She snapped shut a small baby blue book and tucked it under her arm.

Kaoru smiled crookedly. "Okay, I guess you could say. You might be getting a call from my history teacher, though."

"Are you having trouble in your classes?" Emi asked, looking utterly surprised.

"Well, I had a rocky start but I am going to get back on track on my studies! I promise!" Kaoru said truthfully. After today's test, Kaoru was determined to hit the books. He never wanted to feel that way during a test ever again. "Did you have a good day at work?"

"More or less," she replied with a smile. "My boss chewed me out again for taking too many days off lately. Looks like I won't be getting any more paid time off for a while. But enough about that," she said, waving the thoughts away. "Rika called me about your friends coming up this weekend?"

"Yeah, I was just going to ask you…"

"Yes, you can go," Emi replied with a smile. "I will only be helping Ryota with his medication and stuff… And you don't need to be around for all of that."

Kaoru felt the prickle of worry but nodded. He was tired of being Ryota's babysitter and he was tired all of the bullshit. "Great! I'm going to pack up and get out of your hair." He rounded his guardian and began to climb the stairs.

"Oh, wait!" Emi said. She turned and ran to her purse, pulled a small box out, and marched up the stairs to Kaoru. "Here. This is to replace your old one."

Kaoru looked down and he stared. It was cellphone box which meant…

"Take it," Emi said with a smile.

Kaoru took it and held the box firmly in his grasp. "Thanks," Kaoru said softly.

Emi startled him, taking him into her arms in a soft hug. "I know that I might not be the best guardian or mom or whatever, but I care about you, Kaoru. I… I love you like my own son." She stroked the hair at the nape of his neck.

Kaoru leaned into the hug. He didn't breathe a word and the two settled into a comfortable silence. The feelings and emotions swirling around him couldn't be verbalized, so he just settled on tightening that hug. He sighed contentedly.

* * *

**Yeah, there will be a few chapters that will be happy, for all of you who want that... Sorry, this chapter is so freakin' late. To be honest, I've been having a bit of a motivation problem. Gah! But I must move onward! **

**Also, I just wanted to share with you something my little brother wrote. He said, "Let me give a crack at this fan fiction thing," and proceeded to write this. He also was convinced that Hikaru and Kaoru's names were 'Hickory' and 'Sausage'...**

**This is what he wrote:**

_ "It won't be all bad" hickory yelled. "I know it wont, I never said it would be" sausage yelled back, After these series events hickory and sausage realized that their whole brotherhood was a sham. In order to sort the whole argument out, a fight to the death was needed._

_ Hickory pulled out his lazer gun while sausage pulled out his lightsaber tipped nunchucks. Hickory started to fire, but Sausage started swinging the nunchucks in a windmill fasion deflecting the shots back at him. _

**I hope you enjoyed!**


	28. Chapter 28

Kaoru was aware of the new phone nestled in his pocket as he walked up the steps of Hikaru's front porch and rang the doorbell. The bag on his shoulder was heavy, so he shifted it further up his shoulder. Excitement buzzed through his veins; he was happy to see his childhood friends.

The door flung open and Hikaru grabbed Kaoru's arm, dragging him inside. "Hey!" Kaoru hollered, ripping his arm from his brother's grasp.

Instead Hikaru draped his arm around Kaoru's shoulders. "You came just in time, Kaoru. The folks just left and Honey and Mori should be here any minute," he said, glancing over at the clock on a side table as they entered the living room.

Kaoru dropped his stuff by the blue, oversized couch and turned to Hikaru. "When are the others showing up?"

Hikaru shrugged. "I think I forgot to mention a time for them to come over."

Just then, the doorbell rang, grabbing the twins' attention. Hikaru made his way to the front, leaving Kaoru in the living room, and swung open the door to reveal a grinning Tamaki. "Oh, it's just you," Hikaru said.

"WHAT?! Is that how you greet your guest?" Tamaki yelled. He stomped his way past Hikaru and dropped a single bag down by Kaoru's. "You twins need to learn some common decency or otherwise you will never fit in with society."

Hikaru was about to close the door when he was stopped by a hand slapping the wood and pushing it wide open. In the doorway stood an extremely pissed off Kyoya carrying at least five bags. "Next time, carry your own crap!" Kyoya roared at Tamaki, seething.

Tamaki gave him an innocent pout. "But you said you would get the rest."

"When did I ever say-"

"Hi everyone!" Haruhi greeted, pushing Kyoya out of the way, making him drop all of the bags he was holding. "Wow, Kyoya, you should be more careful. You dropped my bag too."

Kyoya turned an evil glare on Haruhi, one that could kill, but Haruhi had already turned away. Kaoru and Hikaru sniggered under their hands.

"So where are the guests of honor?" Haruhi asked, looking around the living room.

Hikaru leaned back against the top of the couch beside Kaoru and said, "Well they said they would head over as soon as soccer practice was over."

"They play soccer too?" Tamaki asked, excited.

"Yup. They are just as good as us, too. Maybe even better," Kaoru said, thinking back.

Tamaki snorted. "Well they'll definitely be better than you if you keep skipping practices. You missed practice, like, all week! What was your excuse for missing today, Kaoru?"

Kaoru reddened instantly, remembering. "Oh crap. I forgot to go." It was the truth. He had so much on his mind lately that he just hadn't thought about soccer. He added that to his mental list of things to refocus on. "Oh man, you don't think that coach will kick me off the team?"

Hikaru shook his head. "I spoke to him at practice today when you didn't show up. I told him that you had just a lot going on, which isn't hard to believe with our counselor meetings and all. But I think we should go to all of the practice next week. I want to participate in the next game."

"Hey, wasn't there a game today?" Kaoru asked, turning to Tamaki.

Tamaki smiled. "Well, I thought there was, but it turns out that it's next Friday. And we need the two of you in the next game, so you better show up."

"Are we just supposed to walk in the open door?" a new voice called, causing all five to look over at the open the door. Kaoru cracked an instantaneous smile to see Mori and Honey standing at the doorstep.

"Hey guys!" Hikaru said, launching himself off the couch to wave them in to the living room. He shut the door behind them. "Alright, everyone, this here is Mori and Honey." He gestured to each in turn. "And over there is Haruhi, Kyoya, and Tamaki."

"Wait," Tamaki interrupted, putting a hand up. "Are you telling me this middle-schooler is your friend?"

If Honey was smiling before, he wasn't anymore, and suddenly he was in front of Tamaki, yanking on his shirt to bring Tamaki down to his eye level. "I'm a senior and I'm short. Got a problem with that?"

Tamaki spluttered. "Ye-yes sir!"

"Great!" Honey said, letting go of Tamaki and immediately changing personalities with a wide grin. "I brought candy for everyone!" He tore open his backpack and candy rained down on the floor.

"Is your whole bag just candy?" Kaoru asked, not knowing whether to be surprised or not.

Mori had a hand to his forehead. "He must have switched his clothes out when I wasn't looking."

* * *

"Never have I ever…" Haruhi said slowly, looking around the group until she locked onto to Tamaki. "Never have I ever broken a window with a soccer ball."

"Will you stop targeting me?" Tamaki cried, exasperated. But he immediately broke out into a flurry of giggles and took a swig of the vodka.

Kaoru also took a sip of his own red cup. His face scrunched up when the bitter taste hit his tongue. He glanced at his sprite and vodka mix and measured a quarter of his cup left and for some reason, Kaoru found that hilarious and he started laughing.

"Oh no, I think we got Kaoru drunk," Hikaru laughed, gesturing to his brother with cup. It was kind of entertaining to see his brother like this.

"Well that's what happens when you keep targeting him. He must have had at least two cups before this and Tamaki made them _strong," _Haruhi told Hikaru.

"You shouldn't be talking," Hikaru replied, watching as Tamaki fell over, letting his empty red cup roll across the floor. "Looks like he's turning in."

"No, no, no, I'm still awaaaake. I'm still… I'm still playing the game," Tamaki slurred.

Hikaru laughed, turning back to the small circle. "Looks like it's just the four of us, now," he said. Haruhi laid down then with her drink sitting on the coffee table, discarded. "Well, three now." He scanned his eyes over Kaoru who was still laughing quietly to himself as he swirled his drink around in his cup. Honey was sitting next to Kaoru, watching him, with a strange calm. He hadn't drunk much; Hikaru knew he wasn't much for alcohol, so it didn't faze him much. Mori and Kyoya had already taken refuge on the couches before the game even begun, which also wasn't a surprise.

"Hi-Hikaru, did you see how this sparkles in the light?" Kaoru laughed, lurching the drink towards Hikaru's face, lightly splashing the vodka mix over the floor.

"Yeah, yeah I did see it," Hikaru said, trying to grab the drink from his brother.

Kaoru wrenched the drink back to himself. "No, mine." And he immediately chugged the rest. "I think I need more, Hika," he said, waving the cup.

Hikaru took the cup gingerly. "No, I think you had enough, okay?"

"Okay, okay _bossy_," Kaoru said. He turned to Honey and was suddenly attacking the smaller boy with a hug, if you could call it that. It was more like Kaoru was just leaning heavily with limp arms over Honey. "We haven't seen you in foreeeeeever! It's so good to see you! Why are you here?"

"Maybe we should help Kaoru to bed?" Honey said, trying to force Kaoru off of him.

Hikaru set aside his drink before going over to help his friend. He lifted one of Kaoru's arms and tugged. "Come on, Kaoru. You can sleep in my bed; it's closer to the bathroom."

"I don't wanna!" Kaoru cried, trying to wriggle away.

Honey grabbed Kaoru's other arm and stood, tugging Kaoru up with him. "No, it's bed time, Kaoru!"

Kaoru nodded and stood on wobbly feet. Slowly and eventually, they made their way into Hikaru's room after much stumbling.

They through Kaoru's limp body down on the bed and Hikaru turned Kaoru onto his side. "Thanks, Honey," Hikaru said quietly, watching as his little brother fell asleep instantaneously.

"I noticed something about him," Honey said.

Hikaru turned, surprised. Honey was wearing his serious face which had grown as the night went on. "What is it?" Hikaru demanded. Honey was observant, extremely so. Hikaru didn't have a doubt in his mind that Honey had noticed something he hadn't.

"Kao, he seems sad…"

Hikaru nodded. "Yeah, he's been like that since the funeral."

"But it's more… sad," Honey elaborated, frowning. "There's more bothering him than that or maybe something happened recently?"

Hikaru thought back, trying to come up with an explanation, but couldn't. He looked back at his sleeping brother. "He doesn't tell me anything anymore so I guess I don't know. If there is something wrong my brother, there's nothing I can do." Tears threatened his eyes; he blinked them back.

"Your friends know."

Hikaru gasped, turning so quick, that a single tear was forced across his cheek. "What?"

Honey pressed a hand to his lips, looking thoughtful. "You should have seen how the three looked at Kaoru tonight. It was like they were waiting for him to shatter or waiting for something. I don't know for sure, but I think they are hiding something or they suspect something…"

Hikaru's face grew murderous. "They know something and won't tell me?"

Suddenly Honey grinned, full of innocence. "Maybe I can get one of them to tell me something?"

"And then you'll tell me?" Hikaru questioned.

Honey nodded. "And I'll get Takashi to help me. Don't worry, Hikaru, we'll find out what's wrong with Kao."

* * *

**I don't have any time to edit this! Sorry about any mistakes!**


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